This post was prompted by a late night conversation with Bets... After which we both decided to blog on singleness soon. I figure I'll start, and put the pressure on her! I have the advantage since I'm not working at the moment and have a bit more free time on my hands.
I'm not one to define my life by being in a relationship, and to be honest relationships intimidate me at times. But I'd be lying if I said I expected to be single at this point in my life. I want so badly to have a Godly marriage and raise a Christian family, and declare with my loved ones that "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." But that hasn't happened yet. And I could sit here and mull over the agonizing question of "Why?", as I often do with my few remaining single friends. But the answers to that question will get me nowhere. The fact of the matter is that it simply hasn't fit with God's timing yet. He is preparing me and He is preparing my future husband (if that is in His plan for my life), and so I must wait patiently and yet expectantly for that time to come. At Breakaway last semester, Ben encouraged singles to recognize and take advantage of the time they have right now, time to serve Christ, to go on mission trips, to take Perspectives, to get really plugged in at a church. Because once you're married and have kids, your life changes and you don't have the luxury of time. Since hearing him say that, my focus has shifted from trying to make the rest of my life fit on a tidy timetable, to simply finding opportunities to follow, serve, and grow in Christ. To appreciate where God has placed me right now and love Him. I'm not saying I've been successful at it, just that I'm trying to keep a better perspective on things.
Another thing that has been floating in my head lately is based on a story one of my friends told me long ago: "A man was very anxious to find his wife and get married. One day, as he was wrestling with why he was still single, he asked to be given some kind of hope that he would one day be married. The next day, he received a photo in the mail of two people on their wedding day. As he took a closer look, he realized that he himself was the man in the photo, but he looked very different. He had a gotee, instead of the long beard he was sporting at the time. He was more athletic and more tan. This made him realize that he wasn't prepared for marriage yet. So, he started becoming the person he was in the picture. He trimmed his beard, started exercising, and started working outdoors more often. Over time, he began to look exactly like he did in the picture and he was ready to find the woman of his dreams. So he kept the photo in his wallet, and again began to search for his wife. One day, he finally saw someone off in the distance who caught his eye. He pulled out the picture and compared. Sure enough, she was the woman in the photo. He was so excited to finally have found the one he waited so long for! Except as he took a closer look at the photo, he noticed that she didn't quite look like the photo yet. In the photo, her hair was very long and she wore contacts. This woman he found had short hair with glasses. He had finally found the woman, but she herself was not ready yet."
This is where my friend ended the story. I desparately wanted to ask "Well, what happened? Did he wait for her, or did he get tired of waiting and find someone else?" I never got an answer to my question. Mainly because it's just a story, you can create your own ending, but as for me, I hope that he waited, no matter how long it took her to be ready. That he enjoyed the time he had to watch her become the woman for him.
We've been reading John in Wednesday night Bible study. Chapter 2 is the story about the wedding in Cana, where Jesus turns water into wine. When his mother requests him to do something, Jesus replies with "My time has not yet come." What amazes me is that he doesn't just say that and sit back down. "Nope sorry, I'm here for bigger and better things than wine, so I'm just going to wait until those opportunities arise" No, he still goes ahead and takes action, performs the simple miracle and brings honor to His name and His God in doing so. This is a huge lesson for me. So to my single friends out there, your time for marriage might not have come just yet, but that doesn't mean we should just sit back and wait. No, take the advice from the Breakaway talk and from Christ's example, and find something you can do right here, right now, to glorify Christ, to serve Him, and in the process allow God to mold your future in accordance with His timing and plans. And more importantly, realize that your relationship with Christ and the hope of your salvation is of paramount priority over any relationship or hope of a husband!