Perspectives

I've been talking to Mandy about the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement course, and figured I'd put in a little plug to anyone out there in cyberspace:

Q: Should I take Perspectives?

A: First off, pray about it. If it seems like something you are interested in, are willing to put time into, and God leads you that direction, then I definitely encourage it. I haven't taken the course yet, but I've heard about it from a number of sources, and I've heard nothing but good things. I just finished up a similar course on Islam, and man, as I reflect on the class and the material, it's good stuff. It just doesn't get any better than to hear stories of people living for Christ, go to class with people searching after God's will, to discuss faith issues, and contemplate what's really important in life. The course is offered in a number of cities throughout the USA. Check it out.

Great Commission or Great Commandment

My homework tonight asked this question: "Which is more significant, obeying the Great Commission (making disciples) or the Great Commandment (loving God and your neighbor)?"

Something about this question intrigues me. I'm typically bad at answering "either or" questions (mainly because I'm indecisive. Ok, that needs a qualifier: extremely indecisive.) Of course, both the Great Commission and the Great Commandment are extremely significant, so perhaps it's not right to judge one over the other. But for the sake of answering the question, here's the answer I came up with:

"I think the Great Commandment is more significant because by loving God and our neighbors, we are being a light of Christ to those around us, which can open doors and pathways to make disciples through these acts of service. Both are important, but the Great Commandment is a heart-matter. We need to change inwardly and have the right motives before we can be truly effective in our outward expressions and activities to make disciples."

If anyone has an answer or reasoning for the other viewpoint, I'd be interested in hearing it.

Sara Groves

Went to a Sara Groves concert this weekend. Went by myself because I absolutely love Sara Groves' music, and I didn't know anyone who could come with me. Events of the evening:

- Sat next to a lady who was also sitting alone. Turns out she owns a Christian bookstore in Vienna, VA. We had a nice little chat and instead of being alone, I made a friend for the evening. Little Miss Introvert can learn to branch out!

- Sara played her songs on the piano. Just piano. It was absolutely amazing. Made me miss Betsy and her amazing piano skills.

- The concert benefited Young Life's Capernaum for children with special needs. Very moving.

Monkeying Around

Who says party favors are only for the kids?




Along with Thanksgiving, we celebrated my brother's birthday and the twins birthday over the holiday weekend. My, my, time flies.


In other monkeying around business, go to Colin's website and comment on his insightful Jerry MacGuire observation. Derek, thanks for the "prank". It's good to joke around with the old gang again, even if it has to be via the Internet these days.


Here's some interesting Chinese research. "The ant and ladybug appeared fine after 30 minutes of levitation, although the fish did not fare as well, due to the inadequate water supply, the scientists report."


And finally, I got my blood donor card today and found out I'm A positive. Got this reply from my brother: "I wouldn't expect anything but A+ blood coming from you... Man, you can't even get a B in a blood test, good job!" ;)

Suffering Again

After thinking about some comments on my last post, I decided to write a follow-up post. This was written mainly for my own benefit, but pull up a chair and read awhile if you're so inclined. Warning: This is long. That's what happens when you get me on a topic that's interesting.

I generally try to avoid generalizations, but sometimes they are useful for the sake of argument or analysis. So bear with me as I generalize "society". I've been considering what claims the typical American society might make concerning how American Christians suffer. Along with that is my response to why those things aren't really suffering.

Some may claim getting up early on Sunday mornings for church is suffering. This is not suffering. It is a joy when your heart is in the right place.

Some may claim spending time in Bible study is suffering and consumes too much time. This is an investment and a necessity, not a waste of time, and it's far from suffering.

Some may claim tithing and giving money to charities is suffering because then you can't afford things like big-screen TVs. My response would be that eventually TV and material possessions will lose their appeal, especially when you realize that money can go to better use elsewhere. Perhaps it's a result of placing too much emphasis on stuff when I was younger and over the years realizing that stuff can never satisfy. I'm far from perfect, and I still revert to my greedy self who wants to cling to my stuff and have all the latest gadgets and gizmos, but with prayer and the right perspective, it's easy to realize we don't really need half of the things we think we do.

Some may claim spending vacation time on mission trips is suffering. Again, not suffering. A week on a mission trip is what motivates me to get through the rest of the year. Need to start praying about where God wants me this year, right now I have no clue.

Some may claim throwing in the towel on society's view of dating is suffering. Ok, so being single certainly involves a suffering of its own kind, but it's nothing compared to the pain of society's twisted view on relationships. That much I know first hand unfortunately. And in His timing, God will provide what I need and what fits His will, either contentment with being single or a relationship that He gets all the credit for. [Commercial break sponsored by Derek : Sacred Singles Video]

Some may claim leaving the comforts of family and friends is suffering. To that I say it isn't easy, but decisions should not ruled by money or comfort level. And as Camille said, "sometimes God leads us one place so that He can lead us to the next place He has in store for us."

So, our society might look at the lives of American Christians and claim we are suffering. But as a whole, we aren't anywhere close to suffering, especially when viewed from a global perspective. Let me caveat that by saying I'm certain there are many who genuinely suffer for Christ in America, but it's in ways far more extreme and important than the trivialities I listed above. It's the people whose stories bring tears to your eyes, causes your jaw to drop, and makes you instantly ask yourself "How did they find the strength to get through that or accomplish that? Through Christ alone."

My source of conflict arises when considering if I should "suffer for Christ" or "accept His blessings". Often times, those two things seem mutually exclusive to me. But I must remind myself that suffering for Christ does not mean rejecting His blessings. And accepting His blessings does not mean a person isn't struggling with hardships and isn't relying on Christ. I guess the goal is to have both, appreciate all the blessings He lavishes on us, while recognizing the source of those blessings and being ready and willing to follow Him, regardless of the cost. SO MUCH easier said than done. Zach's right though, the one who tries to hold on to their own definition of life, the one who builds castles in the sand, really loses out on Christ's definition of life and the true joy experienced from living for Christ.

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." (John Piper) This is most certainly true. If your earthly father knows how to give good gifts to his children, how much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? God wants us to be satisfied in Him. God wants to give us blessings. God wants to give us the desires of our heart, when our heart is in the right place and when it glorifies Him. But sometimes suffering is involved so that we realize that we can only be satisfied in Christ. Other times suffering is involved to demonstrate the all-surpassing power and peace found in Christ. The problem is that we're sinful and don't get our priorities right and we start thinking about ourself and our "needs" instead of God. So, how do we determine if something is a blessing from God or a desire of the flesh? How about measuring things by the fruit of the Spirit? A blessing from God will result in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God might bless us with a good job so we can give to others. This is good. Or we might desire a good job because we are greedy, jealous, selfish. This is bad.

We are Christian. We are living in America. As Besty said in her comment, why are we here with a good life when there's a woman of great faith in Africa without hands? That question can only be answered by God. All I know is that God calls us to grow where we are put; He's in the driver's seat and will lead the way if only we would stop grabbing the wheel. Someday God might call us to go to Africa. Someday God might call us to go down the street and help at the soup kitchen. The key is realizing that God is calling us and has great plans for us, if only we would listen.

Suffering for Christ

I love Thanksgiving. It's always good to count one's blessings and thank the Lord for all the ways He provides for us. And to sit around with family and friends, realizing how special they are. Shouldn't everyday be Thanksgiving?

So, after a few days of relaxation, peace, and giving thanks, I'm confronted again with the concept of suffering for Christ. One of the questions brought up in my class was "Most Muslim-background believers in Christ suffer for their faith, and some have given their lives. What does "suffering for Christ" mean to you and your community?" For some reason, I haven't been able to come up with a good answer for this question.

This summer, a friend gave a talk about suffering and quoted John Piper saying "It's hard to be a Christian in America. The psychological benefits, the relational benefits, the prosperity benefits, the health benefits, etc. of believing in Jesus make a pretty good life. Such that if it is wrong in the end, well, who cares, we still lived a pretty good life." And that's so different from the New Testament church and the examples of faith that we have.

I've been thinking about this stuff for a while, and nothing has settled in my head yet. When living "the American dream" where we are free to worship and proclaim Christ when, where, and however we want, do we "suffer for Christ"? If so, what does that look like? Insight anyone?

Chris Rice

Pulled out an old Chris Rice CD driving this weekend. Haven't listened to Chris Rice in a while, but he really has a way with words. Liked the chorus of this song:

Why does the past always seem safer?
Maybe because at least we know we made it.
And why do we worry about the future?
When every day will come just the way the Lord ordained it.

Writing

For the past week, I've been thinking about books. Mainly wondering what kind of book I'd want to write if I ever wrote one. When I was little, I used to want to write textbooks. Yeah, call me crazy, wouldn't be the first time. The appeal of textbooks has since worn off, don't worry. I'm not sure I have any good book ideas, but then I heard from the rumor mill that OJ Simpson is writing a book called If I Did It. (shaking head) Sounds like we need some good book ideas out there...

Second, a friend sent me this link to Dr. Gates Yell Practice speech last week. "I got degrees from 3 other universities, but for the rest of my life, I will always be an Aggie. Y'all are blessed to go here, and I have only one request of you as Aggies: and that is to never forget the importance of duty and honor and country. I love you. I'll miss you. God bless Texas A&M, God bless you, and God bless America." Gotta love it.

Third, last Sunday in church with Sara and Gottfried, I was flipping through the hymnal and came across this hymn. After reading through the lyrics again, I just love it:

If you but trust in God to guide you
And place your confidence in Him
You’ll find Him always there beside you
To give you hope and strength within
For those who trust God’s changeless love
Build on the rock that will not move

What gain is there in futile weeping
In helpless anger and distress?
If you are in His care and keeping
In sorrow will He love you less?
For He who took for you a cross
Will bring you safe through every loss

In patient trust await His leisure
In cheerful hope, with heart content
To take whate’er your Father’s pleasure
And all discerning love have sent
Doubt not your inmost wants are known
To Him who chose you for His own

Sing, pray, and keep His ways unswerving
Offer your service faithfully
And trust His word though undeserving
You’ll find His promise true to be
God never will forsake in need
The soul that trusts in Him indeed

Foxtrot

Got to visit Molecular Man, his awesome wife, and his cool trick bird this weekend in North Carolina!! Yay fun. :-) He told me about this recent comic:

Computer Joke

I've gotta get back in the habit of reading Foxtrot again...

ChAnGe

I was doing my "homework" tonight, and had to answer this question:
"How should Christians respond to change in the culture around them?" Coupled with Betsy's recent post, I decided to blog some thoughts:

Change is the only constant in life. Winston Churchill had a number of quotes on change, some that relate more to the topic of this post than others :)
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often."
"There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction."

As Christians, we must learn how to address cultural change, especially as society becomes seemingly more and more immoral. Christ was often found with sinners and tax-collectors. He did not participate in their sin, but he did not shun them because they were sinful. He met them where they were, by embracing who they were and sharing the truth. So my question, would Christ be hanging out in movie theaters today? Would he watch the filth that is plastered across the big screen? To be fair, I don't think it's an important question because it only addresses the activity, not the motivation. If Christ could use going to a bad movie with someone as an opportunity to share the truth with them, I'd think he would be there in a heartbeat. So the question becomes, can we use the elements in this changing society to share the truth with others around us? There's two approaches I can think of:
(1) Take an an existing element and point out Biblical truths (or lack thereof) in it. That was the reasoning behind my movie Bible study (scroll down to summer 2005) last year.
(2) Take an existing element that and inject Biblical truths into it. That was the reasoning behind my Christian music Bible study (scroll down to Fall 2004) a few years ago.

The tricky part is not becoming so wrapped up in society and catering to society's demands that the Biblial truths get lost or washed over. Both approaches must be done with care; both require conscious effort and prayer. And honestly I'm no good at either one. I have found that I either shun society and ignore it, or brainlessly participate in what society has to offer, siphoning off the entertainment factor and discarding the rest. But I can't help but think of what an impact we could all make if we engaged in society like Jesus did and thought about how to point people to Christ in the midst of our changing culture.

Temple

Imagine this: You're driving around the lovely, traffic-filled Capital Beltway(that's I-495 for those out of the loop), enjoying the beautiful scenery of trees and autumn leaves that make Maryland what it is. When all of the sudden, just beyond the trees, out of nowhere, rises a gleaming white, massive structure. "What in the world?" you wonder, as you slam on the brakes and try to get a better look. That, my friends, is the Washington DC Mormon Temple. This thing is crazy, especially at night when it is lit up and almost looks like it is floating. Definitely something to Google Sightsee for a better image, but here's my attempt to capture a picture of it while driving the other night:




I won't get into the topic of Mormons, but it really gets me thinking about church buildings. A church building is a place people gather, fellowship, and worship the Lord. Many old cathedrals are beautiful and ornate, signifying respect and honor in a holy place. Many new church building consist of multi-purpose rooms full of activities, signifying life and joyful fellowship. And keep in mind, some churches don't even have a building. But each type of church building and each type of church has a place in history, and each meets a need. The important part: that all glory and honor is given to *Christ Jesus*, our SAVIOR, the only way to salvation.

Aggie Network

Aggie Network in the Pentagon - it goes all the way to the top! Any other Aggies out there want to hop on the bandwagon and head to DC?

In a statement posted on the university's Web site today, Gates said he was "deeply honored" to be appointed defense secretary, "but also deeply saddened" to be leaving College Station, Texas. "I love Texas A&M deeply, but I love our country more and, like the many Aggies in uniform, I am obligated to do my duty," he said. "And so I must go."

Press Conference
News Story
Gates "Rising in the Ranks" Photos

Comfort

Mandy pointed out that I have my own line of comforters at
Bed Bath and Beyond. Apparently I'm exclusively theirs!

Not sure what I think about the pattern, but I'll go with the "fun and fresh" description. Watch out for those Stefani shams though! Haha.

Water

Heard about this at a Derek Webb concert awhile back. Ran across it again recently:

The bad news: Millions of Africans lack access to clean water, including those living with HIV/AIDS. Countless women and children walk up to ten miles a day to get water.

The good news: One dollar provides one year of clean water for an African.

Blood:Water Mission's 1,000 Wells Project is building 1,000 wells and clean water projects in 1,000 African communities. Find out how to donate your dollar—and hopefully do even more—at www.bloodwatermission.com.

Politics

Comment from a high school friend:
---------------------
"You study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."
-Sen. John Kerry on the Campaign trail, 30OCT06 @ Pasadena City College in Pasadena, CA.

Dear friends, this is what I like to call crap. I defend this man's right to say such comments, my soldiers are prepared to die for this very ideal. Surprisingly enough I'm not writing this in an outrage. This man is entitled to say comments exactly like this, I'm writing this because this is a perfect opportunity to discuss politician’s behavior, in this situation we have a politician who is trying to capitalize on 'anti-war' sentiment in order to turn out votes. Just as opposing politicians are trying to capitalize on security issues.
Unfortunately that's the real problem; we have a lack of statesmen and an abundance of politicians. What's the difference you might ask? A statesman is concerned about the generation after him while the politician is concerned about capturing the next election. It's actually disgusting how much ignorance is flying around out there (what I call VDI or Vulgar Display of Ignorance). Again this comment is a prime example, here's some quick facts you can take to the bank...
-Enlistee's have a higher education rate than the US general public
-Most colleges approve military occupational specialty training for credit
-99% of the Military has a High School/GED/College degree
-95% of the Officer Corps has AT LEAST a Bachelor's degree
-A majority of Senior Officers (Major and Above) have Master's degrees.
-Our military is the most educated and technical military force in the world

Just to be clear again I'm not specifically trying to slam Sen. Kerry. I am, however, attempting to point out that words just get thrown around to beat the band. On all sides. So what I'm asking you all as voters to do is quite simply, pay attention and be skeptical of all politicians. Not right or left, but every last one them. And above all vote! Don't let anyone tell you who to vote for, discuss the options 'ad nausea' if you like... Just make your own choice and be responsible enough to do some research before you vote a 'straight ticket'- be choosey. The future is in the hands of your ballot...
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A picture to close out the post.

Wise Words

Words from a wise friend:
-----------------------------
"Things will come with time. Despite the world's trying to convince us that instant gratification is the course of all things, that is really not the case. The Scripture reminds us that to the Lord a day is as a thousand years.

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this." Psalm
37:5

I used to think that verse had everything to do with me - you know, the
committing and trusting part - and I strove really hard to do just that.
The only thing was, in making it about me, I confused the "do" in this
verse. I thought it was all about me doing. So, you know what happened
- I missed the good part about His doing. The verse reads, "He will do
this." And the verses that follow verse 5 read as follows: "He will
make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause
like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for
him." It is really pretty clear, isn't it? God is the doer - "He will
do" - "He will make." As I think about those verses these days, my
committing and trusting revolves more around what He is already doing,
not what I think I should do. So, I try to see, "What is God doing that
I can commit to and trust in?" What is He already doing around me of
which I simply need to be aware, or pray to understand, not to change,
AND TO WAIT PATIENTLY FOR HIM."
------------------------------

A few days later, my pastor made the following points in his sermon:
------------------------------
Christ gives us freedom from the sin of self-centeredness, the addiction of immediacy, and the tyranny of our senses. We are given freedom to cultivate Christ-centered relationships, character, and discipleship. Sometimes the Lord teaches us and calls us to wait. But He is never content where we are; the Christian life is about growth and adventure.
------------------------------

I *know* all these things in my head, but sometimes life makes it hard to remember them. That's why God surrounds us with Christian examples and encouragers to challenge us and keep us walking with Christ.

Time... is on my side?

I don't think I'll ever be able to wrap my head around the concept of time. I complain about not having enough time, but when I really think about it, I realize that I waste too much time. And then there's the repetitious things in life you have to do, like laundry, cleaning, driving, sleeping, that consume a lot of time. How are we ever supposed to get everything thing done that we're supposed to do each day? And even if we do, by the time we wake up the next morning, there's more to do again. Read this devotion a few days ago:

"It was Ernest Hemingway who once said "Time is the least thing we have of." And he was right. How quickly time passes - and how often we lament this. If only we could tack an extra twenty-five or thirty years on to the usual span. There is so much more we want to see, to celebrate, to do. So many places to go, so much to enjoy, to feel, to read, to talk about, to participate in, to encounter. Yet, for each of us, this thing called time is in such short supply..

Our frustration is only compounded by the numerous unimportant, dumb things that seal our minutes and siphon the signifcance out of our hours. You know what I mean. Stuff like getting gas or a haircut, standing in the eternal line at the DMV, doing laundry, washing all the dishes after every meal, mowing the lawn, and a dozen other time-consuming things that have to be done but keep you from doing the things that make life so invigorating and fulfilling.

Since "time is the least thing we have of" and since there is no way we're going to escape all the stupid time-traps that accompany our earthly existence, seems to me that we're left with two choices: Either we can fuss and whine about not having enough time, or we can take the time we've got left and spend it wisely. I mean REALLY wisely, with our priorities in the right order.

Speaking of that, what are you doing with the rest of your life? I'm talking about cultivating relationships, building memories that will help lift the load of future trials, and the deliberate pursuit of activities that will yield eternal dividends.

Do you have a family? Rather than leaving them the leftovers and crumbs and giving your job your best hours and your most creative ideas, how about rethinking the value of strengthening those ties? And while we're at it, let's not leave out necessary time for quietness, for personal reflection and refreshment.

You say you don't have time to add another week to your squirrel-cage lifestyle. Don't kid yourself. You keep blowin' and goin' like you've been doing most of your adult life, and you'll wind up mumbling to yourself in the twilight years, wondering how you could have stayed so busy yet accomplished so little.

Hey, maybe Hemingway wasn't right after all. You and I have more time than we realize once we get our priority ducks in a row."

Movies, Society, Sin

A friend's post pointed me to the article Escalating Depravity by Gene Edward Veith. It basically talks about how movies these days are getting worse and worse because people are becoming desensitized to the things they are seeing.

One of my friends used to say she can't wait until there's a moral revolution, where people get sick of where society is headed, start standing up for what's morally right, and put pressure on the TV and movie industry to stop the downward spiral they are in. I see her point, but sadly I just don't know if it will ever happen. Although, I suppose it starts one person at a time... This said a week after I went to see The Departed... What can I say? Growing up with my brother, I developed a taste for action/adventure/thriller movies. This article had the following comments about "The Departed": "Directed by Martin Scorsese from a gritty, witty William Monahan script, has no redeeming social value except one: It brilliantly depicts the depravity of man and the consequences of immorality. It is thus a more moral film than those that gloss over life without God."

I might have to limit myself to my other favorite movie genre from now on: Pixar!

In other news, here's an interesting game for the kids.

Urbana

Found out about the Urbana conference a while back, and keep hearing about it at random times. Not sure if I can take off work, but maybe if I work hard. Plus, I'd get to hang out in St. Louis, with the super-awesome Kruegers! All you folks out there with time on your hands after Christmas should think about it.

Kurds

We had a guest speaker tonight from Christar, an organization that reaches out to the "least-reached" people around the world. Cherie amazed me. She's probably in her mid-30s, is single, and has an amazing heart for Kurds. Her confidence and assurance in the fact that God is doing mighty things, even though only a small percentage of Kurds are believers, and her dedication to the tasks the Lord has given her made a definite impression on me. She was very down-to-earth, reminding us that "God does not call us to convert people. He only calls us to share the Gospel truth, and the Holy Spirit works on the heart." She talked about summer trips to Iraq, classes to take to learn more, and a number of other things that I simply don't have time to do now that I've got a real full-time job. I left this evening's class kind of depressed wondering "But what can I do? What is God calling me to do?" Given some time and prayer, I'm a bit more at peace and settled down. For one, I can pray. For two, I can look for opportunities to build relationships with people I encounter. And for three, God gives us each our own gifts and talents and opportunities to impact His kingdom. God gifted Cherie with the heart and personality she needs to reach out to Kurds. It is her calling. God created me for a specific purpose. Whether that involves computers or college ministry or cookies or koosh balls, I'm really not sure. I'm still trying to figure out what His purpose is, but I'm confident that He's leading me somewhere. If Cherie and I switched places, she would not be equipped to deal with my daily tasks and opportunities, nor would I be equipped to handle hers.

Amongst all the handouts we got, there was a video that provides a basic overview on why some Muslims are peaceful and others are extremist, the difference between fundamentalist and modernists. If you have 12 minutes and are interested, it's here.

Blessings

I've been meaning to blog on the topic of Blessings for a very long while now, but I couldn't figure out how to organize my thoughts. What constitutes a blessing? When things are going well, people tend to say "the Lord has really blessed us." Hmm, are wealth, health, and happiness results of being blessed by God? Well, what if things are NOT going well for someone? Is the Lord still blessing them? And what about all the people across the globe who don't have a tenth of the things Americans have and who are living lives we couldn't even imagine? Where are their blessings?

The Lord blesses His people in different ways. How would you answer the question of "How has God blessed you?" Is that even an appropriate question? Here is my dilemma: I feel that I have been amazingly blessed by the Lord. He provided me with a wonderful Christian family, extremely loyal friends who stick by me even though I make that hard to do at times, a great environment to grow up in, and a good education, to name a few. I cannot help but think "why have I been blessed in this way when many other people in this world have not?" Or perhaps more appropriately, "why has God chosen to give me so many good gifts?" I have done nothing special to deserve them, in fact often times I have taken them for granted. But then I stop in my train of thought and realize the point: We don't deserve anything and we don't have to earn anything. They are gifts. And God in His sovereignty bestows gifts as He sees fit and according to His purposes. And what blows my mind even more is that God WANTS to give us more gifts than we could even IMAGINE! So long as we recognize that He is the source of these gifts!

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11

At Our Savior's tonight, Pastor Mike said "You are blessed to be a blessing." You can interpret that phrase two ways depending on if you read "blessed" as an adjective or a verb, and I like it either way because it makes the whole process cyclical: We are given blessings, so that we can bless others, and in doing so be blessed ourselves. The important point to remember is that "the more we have been blessed, the more responsibilities we have." I will never be able to figure out WHY God chooses to give certain gifts to some people and not to others. We are on a need-to-know basis, and we don't need to know why. The most important focus is not on WHY but on NOW WHAT? What do we do with the specific blessings, gifts, and talents God has entrusted to us? As Matt Redman says "Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise." We should use every ounce of everything we have to bring glory and honor to God. The next question is HOW do we do that? And the answer to that is different for each person and it involves a lot of prayer.

I'll close with one more quote from Pastor Mike:
"The Christian life is not about security, it's about certainty."

Books

When I was a kid, I loved the public library and couldn't get enough of books. College and boring textbooks cured me of that disease, but for the past couple years, I've tried to get back into the habit of reading. I've since realized that I have a bad habit of starting a bunch of books and never finishing them. So, I was going to be like Betsy and say I wasn't allowed to buy another book until I finished all the ones I already have, but I forgot and bought Lifestories by the Casting Crowns lead singer this weekeend. So, now I have 5 books by my bed that I need to finish, and that's not counting the ones still in boxes that I've forgotten about...

I ran across a list of the Top 50 Books that have Shaped Evangelicals. Before you look at the list, I encourage you to think about what books and authors have impacted your life the most, maybe even post a comment about it. For me, it would include:

• The Mystery of God's Will


• Through Gates of Splendor


• Spiritual Leadership


• God at Work


• Let the Nations be Glad

Themes

Years seem to come in themes for me. 2003 was about trust. 2004 was about transformation and Romans 12:1-2. 2005 was about priorities and God's plans, Jer 29:11-14 stuff. I think 2006 is about contentment. I did a Bible study on contentment back in February, but I'm definitely still learning what it means to be content in every circumstance. I like the quote that "Contentment is not the fullfillment of what we want, but the realization of all that we have in Christ." At the beginning of 2006, I was definitely struggling with contentment. Work was frustrating, the church was changing, friends were moving on, I felt like I was standing still. The problem was that I was focusing on the things I wanted but didn't have, instead of realizing how much Christ has already given me. Consider for a minute how absolutely amazing the gift of eternal life is. How often do we glaze over that fact because we've known it for years? We don't deserve the gift folks, but it's ours. Everything else in life pales in comparison.

I've heard the phrase "Grow where you're put." A tree simply grows where its seed is planted. God has planted each of us where we are right now for a reason. I think realizing that is one key to contentment. Now that doesn't mean we get lazy and stop listening to where He is leading us and what He is up to. It's kind of a balance between making the most of each day and looking forward to His future plans. Reminds me of the lyrics of a hymn that's been going through my head for a while now: Hark, the voice of Jesus calling

Islam

So, I'm taking a class on Islam and wow, I am learning a ton. Lots of things about the history and beliefs that I didn't know before. But also other things, such as how much impact Muslims had on classical mathematics and science back in the day. 1001 inventions points out a few. Makes me wonder, what happened to Islamic influence on the sciences? Why is it that the West is now dominating academia and technological discoveries?

Ramadan is from 24sept to 23oct. Pray for the Muslim world during this time, that the truth and the Gospel of Christ may reach out to them, and for those in the EWI class as we learn about their beliefs.

PS: I stole the meebo thing on the right from miked's blog. Figured I'd copycat and try it out for fun ;-)

Bloglines!

Want to keep up with blog posts, news sites, etc., but don't have time to traverse a ton of websites? You need www.bloglines.com. It can track any site with an RSS feed. Thanks to Derek for passing along this useful info!

National Cathedral

I went to a worship service at the National Cathedral this morning. Unlike most "cathedrals", this one is not associated with the Catholic church, but rather the Episcopalian church.

It's been a LONG time since I've been to a church service that was so formal. I tend to enjoy contemporary praise music, with guitars, drums, and the like, and most of the churches I went to in College Station had that kind of style. Plus, the Lutheran church I grew up in isn't really your typical Lutheran church. Formality and respect is definitely an important part of worshipping God, the creator of the universe. Think of it this way: when people have weddings, they have big ceremonies that are planned out and have a protocol. There's just something about a ceremony that emphasizes the importance of an event. Formal church services can be viewed that way. However, while awed by the ceremony, something was missing during the service at the National Cathedral, and I think it was the personal connection to Christ and to others that occurs in an intimate, laid-back worship service. God deserves all of our honor and respect, but He also wants our hearts and our emotions. He wants us to approach Him, to love Him, to make Him an integral part of every aspect of our lives. I think there's a balance that needs to be found in a worship service between honor and respect and making the throne of grace approachable to all.

Worshipping in our nation's cathedral was certainly an experience that I'll remember, but it's not something I could do every week. The congregation there is very transient, people come and people go. People are from various backgrounds and various faiths. While the diversity would be very enriching, it would be hard to make that a church home. Being part of a church is more than just attending the services, it's about being involved and growing together with Christ and the congregation: knowing the ins and the outs, knowing the people around you, and the stuff going on behind the scenes. I learned this lesson the hard way on my internships up here. Since I knew I wouldn't be in the area very long, I didn't make it a point to get plugged into a church and find a church home. Don't get me wrong, I went to church. I probably visited every Lutheran church in a 20 mile radius from my apartment! And I went to Frontline at McLean Bible regularly. But I didn't go to small groups, Bible studies, or any extracurricular church activities. Part of me looks back and wishes I had done things differently, but part of me realizes that those experiences were just lessons to teach me to prioritize my life and prepare me to find a church home this time around, and wherever God leads me in the future. It's funny the way the Lord works; many times we don't know how He is preparing us or what He is preparing us for. But we must be faithful, one day at a time, listening to His voice and being a light unto the world. The National Cathedral is certainly a light unto the world. It has its place in God's plan in sharing the message of Christ with the world, as do all the little churches across the country and throughout the world that proclaim the Gospel of Christ.

Rollin', rollin', rollercoasters!

Had some exciting fun at Hershey Park in PA! The funnest thing was Storm Runner,which is a "one-of-a-kind coaster will launch you from 0-72 mph in 2 seconds flat. 18 stories straight up, straight down. And that's just the beginning. You'll fly through a 135 foot cobra loop, barrel rolls, and a dramatic flying snake dive." I ABSOLUTELY loved it, and if there wasn't a 1 hour wait, I would have ridden it again. Went on most of the other rollercoasters, but I don't remember all the names. My new friends say some of the rollercoasters at the park are scarier and feel worse than skydiving. If that's true, I might have to reconsider my view on skydiving, because I really enjoyed the rollercoaster action this time around... It's funny b/c I went to Six Flags over Texas about a year and a half ago and chickened out after the 2nd ride. You may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks, but you can certainly teach an old girl to enjoy more rides!

Here's the high point of the Storm Runner. There's not much to give a sense of scale, but it's cool:


Also went on a tour of the Hershey museum, where I learned a new word: conching. Mmm, chocolate!!

Geek v. Nerd

Here's a light-hearted change in topics: Over the years, I've had too many conversations about the difference bt. a geek and a nerd and which term people prefer to call themselves. I recently read a wikihow how to which gave a definition of each term:

"A geek is someone smart and intellectual. They're usually good with computers and do well in school. Nerds on the other hand, specialize. A nerd can tell you every fact known to man about the topic they specialize in. Nerds are generally somewhat obsessive in one particular area. You might even say they know "way too much" about the topic for any kind of practical application (e.g. memorizing about 300 digits of pi, or obsessive trivia knowledge of Star Trek). Geeks are usually less obsessive but still very knowledgeable in particular domains. Geeks are more associated with intelligence, while nerds are more associated with obsessive knowledge and trivia."

Before reading that definition, I preferred the term "nerd", but with this new information, maybe geek is more up my alley. Dunno, but perhaps this post has enlightened your day, or at least made you shake your head and laugh! Good day, my friends.

You Never Let Go

The last Sunday I worshipped at Fellowship Church in College Station, we sang the song "You Never Let Go". I absolutely loved the lyrics. It's perfect for every life situation, but especially for me at this time. This song is on the "Passion: Everything Glorious" CD that I bought a while back, but for some odd reason, I never listened to the song much or realized it was on the CD until Tiff and I were on our grand adventure across the States. I was so tempted to play that track over and over again in the car, but I didn't want to drive Tiff nuts, so I spared her :-) But I want to share the lyrics here, and encourage you to get the track and play it over and over again and drive yourself nuts! ;-)

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go
From the album Passion 06: Everything Glorious

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

Chorus:
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Chorus (2x’s)

Elliot

Almost a year ago, I read "Through Gates of Splendor" by Elisabeth Elliot. It was the first book I'd read about missionaries, and it changed my perspective on a lot of things. I've been on 5 mission trips before, and they were amazing experiences that molded me into who I am now and what I think is important in life. But reading about these missionaries and the experiences they went through was an eye-opening experience. A few months later, I watched "The End of the Spear" (a hollywood version of the incident) with some LSF friends, and a few months after that, Zach Baker showed me "Beyond the Gates of Splendor" (a documentary type movie), all the while, my perspective continued to change. If you haven't heard of any of these books or movies, let me say you are missing out. Go do a google search, read about Jim Elliot, and come back and finish reading my blog. Or send me an email and I'll buy you a copy of the book! The whole story, from the events that happened to the things that occurred as a result is amazing proof of how God works in all things, how much we can't understand how He works, and how He is sovereign and provides for all we need, even if we don't see it at the time.

I recently showed "Beyond the Gates of Splendor" at the LSF Fall Retreat. In preparation for the movie, I reread some of Elisabeth Elliot's comments about the incident, and the following paragraphs blew me away, and they almost always bring me to tears when I think about how many times I question God and what He is up to in my own life. I'll quote her below:

"The name Auca is a Quichua word meaning "naked" or "savage." It is no longer used. Waorani is what the people call themselves. Their story, at the time of the death of the men, later when I lived with the Indians themselves, and during all the years since as I have recounted it and reflected on it in the light of my own subsequent experience, has pointed to one thing: God is God. If He is God, He is worthy of my worship and my service. I will find rest nowhere but in His will, and that will is infinitely, immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to...

It is not the level of our spirituality that we can depend on. It is God and nothing less than God, for the work is God's and the call is God's and everything is summoned by Him and to His purposes, the whole scene, the whole mess, the whole package -- our bravery and our cowardice, our love and our selfishness, our strengths and our weaknesses. The God who could take a murderer like Moses and an adulterer like David and a traitor like Peter and make of them strong servants of His is a God who can also redeem savage Indians, using as the instruments of His peace a conglomeration of sinners who sometimes look like heroes and sometimes like villains, for "we are no better than pots of earthenware to contain this treasure [the revelation of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ] and this proves that such transcendent power does not come from us, but is God's alone" (2 Cor 4:7 NEB)

We are not always sure where the horizon is. We would not know which end is up if it were not for the shimmering pathway of light falling on the white sea. The One who laid earth's foundations and settled its dimensions knows where the lines are drawn. He gives all the light we need for trust and for obedience." -- Elisabeth Elliot, "Through Gates of Splendor"

On being single

This post was prompted by a late night conversation with Bets... After which we both decided to blog on singleness soon. I figure I'll start, and put the pressure on her! I have the advantage since I'm not working at the moment and have a bit more free time on my hands.

I'm not one to define my life by being in a relationship, and to be honest relationships intimidate me at times. But I'd be lying if I said I expected to be single at this point in my life. I want so badly to have a Godly marriage and raise a Christian family, and declare with my loved ones that "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." But that hasn't happened yet. And I could sit here and mull over the agonizing question of "Why?", as I often do with my few remaining single friends. But the answers to that question will get me nowhere. The fact of the matter is that it simply hasn't fit with God's timing yet. He is preparing me and He is preparing my future husband (if that is in His plan for my life), and so I must wait patiently and yet expectantly for that time to come. At Breakaway last semester, Ben encouraged singles to recognize and take advantage of the time they have right now, time to serve Christ, to go on mission trips, to take Perspectives, to get really plugged in at a church. Because once you're married and have kids, your life changes and you don't have the luxury of time. Since hearing him say that, my focus has shifted from trying to make the rest of my life fit on a tidy timetable, to simply finding opportunities to follow, serve, and grow in Christ. To appreciate where God has placed me right now and love Him. I'm not saying I've been successful at it, just that I'm trying to keep a better perspective on things.

Another thing that has been floating in my head lately is based on a story one of my friends told me long ago: "A man was very anxious to find his wife and get married. One day, as he was wrestling with why he was still single, he asked to be given some kind of hope that he would one day be married. The next day, he received a photo in the mail of two people on their wedding day. As he took a closer look, he realized that he himself was the man in the photo, but he looked very different. He had a gotee, instead of the long beard he was sporting at the time. He was more athletic and more tan. This made him realize that he wasn't prepared for marriage yet. So, he started becoming the person he was in the picture. He trimmed his beard, started exercising, and started working outdoors more often. Over time, he began to look exactly like he did in the picture and he was ready to find the woman of his dreams. So he kept the photo in his wallet, and again began to search for his wife. One day, he finally saw someone off in the distance who caught his eye. He pulled out the picture and compared. Sure enough, she was the woman in the photo. He was so excited to finally have found the one he waited so long for! Except as he took a closer look at the photo, he noticed that she didn't quite look like the photo yet. In the photo, her hair was very long and she wore contacts. This woman he found had short hair with glasses. He had finally found the woman, but she herself was not ready yet."

This is where my friend ended the story. I desparately wanted to ask "Well, what happened? Did he wait for her, or did he get tired of waiting and find someone else?" I never got an answer to my question. Mainly because it's just a story, you can create your own ending, but as for me, I hope that he waited, no matter how long it took her to be ready. That he enjoyed the time he had to watch her become the woman for him.

We've been reading John in Wednesday night Bible study. Chapter 2 is the story about the wedding in Cana, where Jesus turns water into wine. When his mother requests him to do something, Jesus replies with "My time has not yet come." What amazes me is that he doesn't just say that and sit back down. "Nope sorry, I'm here for bigger and better things than wine, so I'm just going to wait until those opportunities arise" No, he still goes ahead and takes action, performs the simple miracle and brings honor to His name and His God in doing so. This is a huge lesson for me. So to my single friends out there, your time for marriage might not have come just yet, but that doesn't mean we should just sit back and wait. No, take the advice from the Breakaway talk and from Christ's example, and find something you can do right here, right now, to glorify Christ, to serve Him, and in the process allow God to mold your future in accordance with His timing and plans. And more importantly, realize that your relationship with Christ and the hope of your salvation is of paramount priority over any relationship or hope of a husband!

New Tunes

I finally bought Aaron Shust's new album, because I am absolutely in love with his song "My Savior My God" mainly for the opening line:

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior.

I try to figure this world and God's will out, but the more I try, the more confused and frustrated I get. I simply don't have the ability to understand it all. I cannot sit here and tell you what my life will be like in 5 years, or where He will lead me. But I rest assured that He will lead me and teach me each day, one step at a time. Based on what I've been learning lately and where my heart is, I'm excited to see what God has in store for me. And I can confidently say that wherever I end up, it will be God at work in me and in my life. Not by my own efforts, but purely as a result of the grace and mercy of my Creator.

Aaron has a very catchy section in song #10 of his CD:
Be at rest once more my soul for the Lord has been good to you
Be at rest once more, oh my soul
Be at rest once more my soul for the Lord has been good to you
Be at rest once more, be at rest once more.

The combo of the lyrics and the music get stuck in my head and I find myself singing that part over and over again. But the lyrics "once more" got me thinking. Have our souls ever been at rest? Should they be? Can they be? If that means confident of salvation, yes. But what exactly does it mean for a soul to be at rest? Ultimately, I don't think that will happen until Judgment Day when our souls will be forever in God's presence. I dunno.

Phones

I'm horrible with cell phones... I just took mine out of the washer tonight... Doh! Back to the Sprint Store we go... I should *seriously* consider getting that equipment replacement plan. Here's my history with phones since 2000:

- Kept in back pocket & sat on it too much until antennea gave up.
- Dropped in cranberry juice. Phones don't like cranberry juice as much as I do.
- Dropped on tile floor. Phones and tiles don't mix.
- Dropped in toilet (don't worry, it hadn't been used)
- Washed in washer

You'd think I'd learn!

Feet

Playing dodgeball on a tennis court late at night: fun. Doing it barefoot: not so intelligent. I have a new found respect for my foot, now that it is utterly useless, with a 2"x4" blister across the ball of my foot. I'm not a wuss when it comes to pain, but I'll be honest, this thing hurts. If you've never tried walking without using the ball of your foot, you should give it a shot. The best I can do is some type of ganster limp.

There's nothing like being sick or injured to make you appreciate being healthy. And then when you get healthy again, you tend to take it for granted. But hey, spending goofy time with friends, pretending that I'll never have to grow up, was worth it, so I'm not complaining.

Time

"At the end of the day, there's never enough time." Especially if you try to get enough sleep each night. I just don't know how people do it. But I did my best to squeeze as much as I could into this Friday. And it just got me thinking about time, and how precious it is. Are you the type that thinks you have all the time in the world to get around to things, or do you think there's never enough time to get everything we want done?

I've been thinking about this concept lately. Now that I'm preparing for the big move, I've been trying to see as many friends as I can. But why did it have to take leaving to get me to schedule a weekend to hang out with my Austin friends and my Houston friends, or plan an adventure to New Braunsfels, or see my family? These people have always been important to me, but when you think you have all the time in the world, it's easy to put things off. I'm gonna miss Texas, and all my friends down here who know me and whom I've shared many a laugh with and plenty enough tears.

So then I think about how the Day of the Lord will come "like a thief in the night." And I wonder if we truly understand that concept, or if we get distracted by our daily lives. In the grand scheme of things, we are running out of time. Every second counts. How do we hold on to that sense of urgency when the world is telling us to build a stable, safe and secure life for ourself?

Hymns

Sandra McCracken has a new album out that is old hymns, set to new music. More info of this type can be found at http://www.igracemusic.com.

I liked this comment about one of the hymns:
“The line 'Whate’er I need in Jesus dwells, and there it dwells for me.' is a powerful reminder of the fact that what we are often looking to idols to get (peace, hope, security etc.) we already have in Jesus! Getting this truth on your heart is the key to letting go of our idols and turning to Jesus."

Man, how true that is. Why do we search for our own answers, when all we need and all that could ever satisfy is found in Christ? How easy it is to forget that God has our best interests in mind, and more importantly, His best interests in mind. The next time you find yourself complaining about your life and going after idols, take a step back and realize that true peace, true hope, true security, is found in Christ and Christ alone. Not money, not jobs, not fame, not relationships, not cars, looks, or even intelligence. It's hard to truly understand that, but until we do, we'll be like hamsters, stuck in a cage, spinning our wheels, and getting nowhere.

Roadtrip Ideas?

I just found out that Tiff can come with me on my roadtrip to the new job! Whoop! If any of y'all have ideas for fun things to do on a road trip or good topics of conversation to pass the time in the car, post 'em here. I think I'm bringing a video camera, and I'm all about being silly...

Vocation

I started reading Max Lucado's book "Cure for the Common Life" about 9 months ago. I didn't get around to finishing it until a few weeks ago. But I really liked one of the stories included in the Conclusion. I've constantly battled with the notion of vocation. If we don't spend 100% of our time impacting God's kingdom doing ministry work, are we wasting our time? How can a girl with a CPSC and MATH degree make a difference on anything meaningful? Would I have been better off and a better servant of the Lord if I had become a church worker or a school teacher in a Christian school?

I find peace knowing that God gives us talents and skills and He wants us to use them, not waste them. For some odd reason, I've been successful at this technical stuff, so I feel that I need to be a steward of these gifts that He's given me by exploring the opportunities He provides. But I also need to make sure I don't get so wrapped up in the world that I forget my main calling is not to use my technical skills, but rather to be a light in this dark world. Luther's Doctrine of Vocation has been useful to review as I struggle with the reality of working 8-5. And this story in Lucado's book also helps me realize that God has plans I can't even dream up, so I will take each day as it comes. This is long, and it might violate some type of copyright, but it's a good story:
-----------------------
"Ten-year-old Rich shudders beneath the sheets of his bed. His parents argue in the next room. Father drinking, again. Mother worrying, again. Never enough money. Never enough work. They yell and the boy trembles. Will they be thrown out of their house? Anxiety and anger fog the home. Rich remembers the decision of that cold night in Syracuse: "My parents can't help me. If I make it, I'll make it on my own."

In the seventh grade, he requested and received catalogs from each of the Ivy League schools. Education, he resolved, would buy his bus ticket out of scarcity. College life led him to Cornell University, where scholarships paid the tuitions, and hard work made the grades. He befriended others like him -- students born, not with silver spoons, but iron anchors of misfortune. He recruited and led a ragtag volleyball team composed of players too short or inept to make the prestigious fraternity squads. Rich and his team won the university championship. Seems the poor boy from Syracuse had a soft spot for others like himself.

Good grades awarded him a scholarship to Wharton, where he earned an MBA and found the two loves of his life: Renee and Jesus. Renee suggested they register their wedding at the china section of a department store. Rich refused. "As long as there are hungry children, we shouldn't have china or crystal." The advocate for the underdog speaks again. At their wedding, Rich and Renee received a closetful of fondue sets and Crock-Pots, but no china.

The business world came easily for Rich. By the age of 33, he occupied the CEO office of Parker Brothers, an international game and toy company. Eleven years later he'd changed companies and crested another corporate ladder, serving as the CEO of Lenox China and Crystal.

Life was good: secure job, healthy family, nice home on five Pennsylvania acres. But something nagged at him. The irony of it all. The groom who had resisted the china registry was selling luxury goods and fine dinnerware to the wealthy.

Life seemed off balance. He knew WHAT he did best - management. He knew WHERE to do it - large organizations. But WHY? He grew restless, considered early retirement. Move to Boca Raton and play golf. Renee would have none of it. "If we retire, it will be to the mission field."

Mission field? Rich chuckled at the thought. He was no theologian, no agriculturist. What work of God needs a master of pro formas, budgets, and organizational charts?

World vision did. The call came in 1998. Would you consider assuming the role of CEO? Rich had heard of the ministry, how they champion the cause of the poor worldwide. Rich knew what they did, but he had no clue why they wanted him. He declined the offer. World Vision persisted, convincing Rich to map out his life, assess his skills.

He reluctantly agreed. The results convinced the World Vision board: Rich was made for the job.

Rich remained unconvinced. He saw the move as career suicide. Move his family from Pennsylvania to Seattle? Take a 75% pay cut? Assume the reins, not of a business, but of a ministry? Most of all he feared failure. What if he blew it?

World Vision pressed him. Of the 200 candidates, he was their choice. Board member Bill Hybels phoned and challenged Rich to make the jump. He spoke of sweet spots and eternal impacts. "This is a chance to marry your gifts with God's call. When you do that, you enter a zone - the zone in which you were made to live."

Rich Stearns prayed, weighed the options, and made the choice. He swapped porcelain sales for relief efforts, marketing meetings for strategy sessions on AIDS. Has he regretted it? Ask him and feel the energy pulsate through the phone. I barely wrote fast enough to capture his enthusiasm:
"This is the fulfillment of who I was created to be."
"I've found my stride."
"My work is a thrill on blueberry hill"
"I wonder why I waited 23 years."

World Vision has no regrets either. In Rich's first 6 years, their annual budget more than doubled, jumping from $350 million to $807 millinon, making World Vision the largest relief organization in the history of the world.

Toward the end of our conversation, the kid from the troubled home quoted a favorite verse: "I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'" Jer 29:11 NASB

"Looking back," he says, "I can see the plan."
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I find stories like these encouraging and empowering. The Lord works in amazing and mysterious ways. All we have to do is give Him our lives and listen to His voice.

Last Worship at ULC

This morning was my last worship at ULC. I'll still be around for 2 weeks, but I'll be out-of-town those weekends. I didn't realize this was my last Sunday until it was over, but in looking back, God had planned the perfect "last Sunday" message for me. The whole service related to the Ablaze mission. This is the LCMS vision to get our church body to focus on outreach. As I've been growing lately, I've stopped living for myself with my own plans, and started living for God. And I've been amazed by how much I've been bombarded by missions lately. I have a lot to learn, but faith is so much more important when you daily realize there are SO many people out there that don't know Christ. If we live in our comfortable little world and aren't bold enough to share Christ with those around us, then what are we really living for? I'm still trying to figure out what God has in store for me and how I can live for Him daily, but I'll always remember my last Sunday at ULC, sitting in the place that helped bring me so close to the Lord and prepared me for God's mission ahead, hearing the message of "Go."

Finally, I was filled with peace as I sat back and observed worship today. How exciting to see the folks that were once freshman planning events, leading Bible studies, on fire for God. The Chapel has grown, and it is now very different than when I started attending. But it has all been part of God's plan, and I can see God at work in the lives of the students there. I have been blessed to be part of this fellowship, to have these memories, and to see the change. I am sad to leave, but I know that ULC will continue to be a place where God raises up leaders in His church, and it will continue to be a vessel that shares the love of Christ.

"Dear Lord, we fully know that you shine as Light in the darkness. But we've often sought out the darkness instead of your Light. Instead of keeping our hearts ablaze for you, we've carried a torch for the "treasures" of this world: material things, control, power, and pleasure. Instead of hearts that burn within us for being in your Word, we've burned for things that will one day be swallowed up by fire. Instead of spending time, talent, and treasure for Your glory and the growth of Your kingdom, we've spent time, talent, and treasure on "my kingdom come; my will be done." Forgive us, Lord. Give us a fresh chance. Still grant us seeds to sow, and opportunities to "go," and hearts filled with fire and desire that "all would be saved" so "none would perish." Forgive our silence and wrong priorities. Create in us clean hearts and set us ablaze with desire and conviction to daily "speak of the hope within us."

We also said this "Affirmation of Faith" which I had never heard before, so I want to record it here:

"I believe in God, the Father Almight, Creator and Owner of all that exists: the universe, the earth and everything in it, including me. Who has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.

I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, my Lord and Savior: true God and also true man, who has redeemed me, a lost and condemned person, purchased and won me from all sins, from death, and from the power of the devil; not with gold or silver, but with His holy, precious blood and with His innocent suffering and death, fulfilling His mission to pay for the sins of the world.

Who continues His mission by sending me, a member of His Body, the Church into white harvest fields which He has been preparing. Who said "As the Father has sent me, so now I send you."

Who sends me with this confidence-building promise as I "go": "Lo, I will be with you always."
I believe in the Holy Spirit, who calls me by the Gospel, enlightens me with His gifts, sanctifies and keeps me in the true faith. Who sets my heart ablaze with the fire of His love for Him and for others. Who gives spiritual gifts to me and all believersfor mission and ministry just as He determines, no gift being greater or lesser, but all working in unity as members of one Body to build up His kingdom. Who speaks through me when I witness and when I give a "cold cup of water." Who grows the nine-fold "fruit of the Spirit" in me that I might look and sound and think more like Jesus; Who enables me to spread the "fragrance of the knowledge of Christ" and be the "aroma of Christ" to a world "in bondage to decay which cannot free itself."

By grace through faith I am part of God's holy Christian Church on earth.

Though daily I sin much and need forgiveness, I am part of a spiritual Body of believers who have been made holy by the blood of Christ and who serve Him as a "living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him."

I believe that Christ is still building His Church on earth through His Word and Spirit, using weak vessels like me to spread His life-saving message. Though "devils all the world should fille" and the forces of 21st century darkness seem bent on destroying its growth and influence, I believe Christ is powerfully building His Church, "and the gates of hell will not prevail against it!"
Amen! Dear Lord, stoke my heart ablaze for you and others as You deploy me in mission! Shape me! Mold me! Fill me! Use me! Send me! Amen!"

On staying busy

In general, I try to stay pretty busy. It took me a while to learn how to rest, relax, and just enjoy moments of life for what they are. In fact, I'm a bit of a workaholic, so I'm still learning that daily. But I'm trying to find that balance between being a workaholic and being lazy.

I've been quoting John Piper a lot, but I read something he wrote about rest/retirement while I was eating lunch today, and I really liked it:

"How many Christians set their sights on a "Sabbath evening" of life--resting, playing, traveling, and so on--the world's substitute for heaven, because they do not believe that there will be one beyond the grave. The mind-set is that we must reward ourselves in this life for our long years of labor. Eternal rest and joy after death is an irrelevant consideration. What a strange reward for a Christian to set his sights on! Twenty years of leisure while living in the midst of the last days of infinite consequence for millions of unreached people. What a tragic way to finish the last lap before entering the presence of the King who finished his so differently!"

Reading things like this makes me want to be one of those people who never retires. Sure, I might retire from the official 9-5, but I hope I'm always active and doing something useful for His kingdom.

What frustrates me the most about staying busy is when I don't have time to hang out with new friends and get to know them, or do something spontaneous, or meet someone for lunch. For a long time, I kept my schedule so tight, there wasn't time for anything unless it was planned in advance. Nothing says "You're important to me" as poorly as "well, sorry, but I just can't squeeze that in." You know what they say, "You make time for the things that are important to you." That's why Christ should be part of everything we do; He is our life and we should make time to study His word, spread His message, and expand His church.

Change

My natural reaction is to resist change. I tend to put a lot of thought into my decisions (and "a lot" is probably an understatement!), so changing what I'm used to is a struggle b/c it means new decisions and new unknowns. But if things never change, well, things get old, boring, stagnant. My friend Betsy says "There's no such thing as standing still in life. If you're not moving forward, you're actually moving backwards." The truth of that statement has become more real to me lately. Life at A&M and at ULC and around College Station has been amazing. I've been blessed by wonderful fellowship, an amazing pastor who will forever be my lifelong friend, a place where I could grow in Christ, ask my questions, and learn how to lead others. It is so tempting to hold on to that, to try to freeze time, be a pondering college student forever, staying up past midnight, hosting game nights, and all that jazz. People tell me that college life is one of the best times of your life. If that's true, I suppose it's natural to never want that to end. Especially lately as I have gotten to know some awesome people here who have refreshed my perspective on what it means to live for Christ as a community of believers.

I've always said I'll never grow up. I keep my koosh collection, my corny jokes, my stuffed animal... as ways to make sure I never do. I want to keep my light-hearted spirit, to have fun and laugh one's cares away. But life is calling me to grow up right now, and God is preparing me for it. I have a feeling I'm about to get slapped in the face by the real world. If I turn into a lonely, bitter lady consumed by the cares of this world, snap me out of it!! I have absolutely no idea what to expect, but I've gotta step forward and see how this new adventure goes. I pray that the Lord will provide fellowship for me, a place where I can continue to grow in faith and people who will provide me with much needed encouragement. But I'm beginning to realize that fellowship might look different than I'm used to. It won't just be with others my age, who have my same interests, but it will include families, older couples, young kids; basically a variety of people in a number of life stages. And how enriching that will be! But it will take time to develop those friendships, especially for someone like me, who has a bad habit of being cautious and closed off until I get to know ya.

What saddens me the most about new beginnings is leaving behind the friends I have now. Those friendships that I love and cherish now will inevitably change. This is the hardest change for me to deal with. But there is a time and a place for everything, and God's got a reason for the timing and the places He sends us.

Ebenezer

One of my favorite hymns since my freshman year is "Come Thou Fount". At various points in my life, different parts of that song have really stood out to me. A comment from a friend made me start thinking about my Ebenezers today, naturally bringing to mind the line "Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by thy help I've come." How often we sing that, but do we actually DO that? In order to do it, we must understand what an Ebenezer is.

The word "Ebenezer" comes from Hebrew and is actually two words pronounced together: "Even Ezer." It literally means: "Stone of Help." It's referenced in the Bible in 1 Samuel 7:12: "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer; for he said, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." So the Philistines were subdued and did not again enter the territory of Israel; the hand of the LORD was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel. "

Perhaps you've looked up this information in the past, as I did my freshman year, but stopped there, as I did my freshman year. But God has a way of showing us the things we miss the first time. What I missed the first time was why it was an important thing for Samuel to do and glean any practical application in my own life. I thought "Aha, so that's what the hymn is referring to. That's cool, how awesome of Samuel." And went along singing the song as always, with a tad bit more insight. Why did Samuel raise his Ebenezer? To serve as a reminder of the Lord's faithfulness, provision, and providence. But of course, the Isrealites were notorious for forgetting things. They complained, worshipped idols, went their own way. We see that in Samuel's farewell speech in chapter 12. Samuel concludes by encouraging us to remember what great things the Lord has done: "But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you." That is the whole purpose of an Ebenezer.

A similar passage is found in Joshua 4 after the crossing of the Jordan: "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

God is GREAT! He provides us with everything we need. We should have things that symbolize the Lord's provision in our life. We should raise our Ebenezers, daily cry out "Thus far the Lord has helped me!" So let's all go out and get some stones and build our Ebenezers! Well, not necessarily, that's just a ritual, it's not the stones themselves that mean anything, it's the heart, the meaning, the motivation behind the object. It's about the story. But the point is, we should actively be taking note of the great things God is doing in our lives. We all have a story, we should be ready to share it! Sometimes it's hard to see what God is up to; sometimes we don't see it until years down the road; many times we never see the full scope of God's actions. But everyday God helps us, and we must remember that! One way to do that is to keep a journal.

But at this point, I begin to think "Hmm, Samuel didn't build Ebenezers after each battle. God surely helped them all the time. So, is an Ebenezer only for significant events? Is it only for the conclusion of some important era?" At this point, yes Betsy, I'm thinking WAY too much. But my conclusion is that we should have both daily Ebenezers and milestone Ebenezers. We should always be able to tell someone about the great things the Lord is doing in our lives. And we should also be ready to point them to those big milestones, those turning points. Those times where we were on our knees, face down in the dirt, with no hope of our own merit, and the Lord in His grace helped us. We achieved more than we could have dreamed because it was the Lord's power at work in us. Trouble is that I don't know how to symbolize that. I think concrete reminders have more meaning than conceptual visuals, but what would a modern-day Ebenezer look like?

We need something that might cause someone to ask us "What does that _____ mean?" To which we can reply with a story pointing all glory to God. If I were an artist, I'd paint a picture of these turning points. If I didn't "really suck at playing the guitar" (those were the lyrics to the first song I ever wrote by the way, gee, I wonder why I'm no John Mayer right now...), I'd write it in a song. If I remembered much rhetoric, I'd elaborate my stories into classical novels. But I'm a computer programmer. I create visualizations and administrate systems. I guess the closest thing I can get to an Ebenezer is a blog post.

That said, I'm at a point in my life right now where I want to raise my Ebenezer. I remember so vividly a time in February where all I could do was plead for God's help, giving Him my future and my life in a way I never had before. I had been trying to carve out my own future, and I was going nowhere. I realized that there were all these things in my life that I had built for myself as safety cushions, such that I would feel in control of my life. I came to a point where God made me realize in new ways that this life is about HIM, not me. My future is about serving HIM, not being comfortable. It's about finding JOY in HIS blessings, not creating happiness with my own desires. Oh, how many lessons I had to learn, and how excruciatingly tough they were (as Rev K can affirm). But the Lord has renewed my hope, restored my joy, uplifted my spirit, and granted me strength to follow and trust Him. As I move into the next chapter of life, knowing only that my God is before me, I want to say "Hither by Thy help I've come". I am where I am, I have gotten to this point, only because the Lord has prepared me for this time and place; He has helped me get here; He deserves all the glory. I realize that these comments are rather vague, but I can say with confidence that the Lord is faithful. And when all is said and done "I hope by Thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home."

What's interesting about this hymn is that it wasn't until June of this year on a camping trip that I learned there was a 4th verse:

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Oh what a promise! How glorious it will be when we are freed from sinning, standing face to face with our Creator, cleansed by His blood, singing of His grace. I love the imagery of a ransomed souls; Christ paid the ultimate price for our souls. What a small sacrifice for us to give Him what is already His: our lives, our future, our faith.

Fellowship

My soon-to-be-a-pastor friend Jason said something today to which I say "I second that":

"Basically, the long and short of this (but mostly the short) is that church is not always just about Sunday morning worship and Bible study. Church is about people spending time together with the ultimate goal of having faith in Christ and living a life that pleases God. But sometimes we have to start in other places, doing things that people do on their own. Sometimes that means starting a new hobby or revelling in one you already have, being sure to spend time with people who are Christian and non-Christian. The opportunity to tell people the Gospel is not mainly at church or by giving out Bible tracts at the local mall (which, by the way, is not usually a good idea); it is mainly when we spend time with people, being their friends and getting to know them. Only when we get to know our friends and their backgrounds
will they care to know us and our faith; only when we spend time doing what other people enjoy doing will they come do what we enjoy (or hopefully should enjoy): going to church and Bible study. Otherwise, we are just whistling Dixie."

Being involved at church is important, but even more important is being a Christian example and a caring friend to the non-believers that surround us. This is important for me to remember as I prepare to move and plant roots in a new place. The nice little bubble that I grew up in is about to be striped away, but God will still be there, so I'm ready for it...

Time

As I get older, the concept of time just blows my mind. Everyone on earth gets the same amount of time each day. Yet people do so many different things with the amount of time they have. The kids in Uganda in Invisible Children spend their days surviving and avoiding the rebel army, because they have to. Some kids in America spend their days in front of a computer screen, because they choose to and have that "luxury". Dads spend their days in the office, college students at parties, the list goes on. I'm convinced that the key to success (aside from relying on God and avoiding society's view of success) is learning what to do with the 24 hours you are given each day.

I fail miserably at this. I try to stay busy, but I think my perfectionistic nature leads me down the path of spending way too much time on things that aren't all that important. I need to learn when to say "that's good enough". Or when to say "I just need to make a decision and move on with my life!" We all talk about time management, as if it's some foreign concept that no one is really able to achieve. Is it achievable? Probably not for a self-critic like me, until I change my perspective. I want to talk to those folks who have figured out the work-life balance. Maybe you have it figured out? If so, fill me in!! My sister tells me that life just gets more complicated. "Enjoy the easy pace of life now, while you're single and have time on your hands and your decisions only impact yourself." she says as I complain about things. I definitely see her point.

My goal for the week is to analyze how I spend my time. Are there things I can cut out and replace with more important things? What does it take to achieve that work-life balance?

Reminiscing

I ran across this article that I wrote for the church newsletter in December. Now that I'm ACTUALLY leaving A&M, I thought I'd repost it here for posterity. I'm really going to miss this place, but I'm reminded that this is a place of preparation, where God builds leaders and teaches us to put Him as the foundation of our lives. He then sends us out to places where that preparation can be put to further use to impact His kingdom. Times of transition involve trust. And stepping forward in faith is the only way to live for Christ.

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The other students at University Lutheran Chapel often call me “old” these days since I have been involved at ULC for more than six years now. Therefore, as an old Ag, allow me to partake in the tradition of reminiscing about Old Army days and share what ULC has meant to me:

As freshman, I heard there was a Lutheran church within walking distance from my dorm. Since my car was parked miles away in the infamous “Fish lot,” walking to church was very appealing. ULC was very small at the time, with about 30 people in worship, all college students except the pastor and his wife. I was instantly recognized as a visitor, but I was also instantly welcomed. The warm fellowship, combined with solid teachings of Christ as our Savior, convinced me to continue attending worship on Sunday mornings. Within a few months, I was attending ULC events throughout the week, taking on leadership roles, growing spiritually, and forming lifelong friendships.

I never could have imagined the ways I would grow at ULC through my college years. ULC provided opportunities for me attend mission trips, lead Bible studies, be an officer in Lutheran Student Fellowship, interact with international students, and even organize interviews as we looked for a new pastor in 2003. These experiences helped improve my leadership skills, but most of all they helped me grow in faith and keep my priorities in check.

ULC has grown tremendously since I first started attending in 1999. We now have an average of 80 people attending worship. We have a larger worship facility, a larger parking lot, even a larger kitchen (very important since Lutherans like to eat!) It has been a privilege to see this change take place and to see God at work in the lives of so many students. But amidst all the change, many things remain the same at ULC. Still today, freshmen are stepping up and taking on leadership roles. Students are making time in their schedules for Bible studies and spending their Spring Break on mission trips. Graduating seniors are preparing to be Christian examples in the workplace and to get involved in their new churches.

I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 4:7, which says “So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” As I reflect on all the ways ULC and the people at ULC have grown over the years, I see the Lord’s hand at work through it all, and I give thanks to Him who has made it all possible.

Habakkuk

I was preparing for tonight's Habakkuk Bible study at lunch today by listening to a Gregg Matte talk. Gregg said something that I want to record here, as it encompasses a number of things I've been over-analyzing lately:

"Do not fear being single your whole life.
Do not fear not getting a job.
Do not fear not having people like you.
Do not fear those things.
Oh, but be so afraid to not walk in the will of God.
Be so afraid, be so afraid.
Not because God's gonna get you.
But because you will begin to make decisions that will bring storms that you don't want.

For Habakkuk, the storms came in to correct the Jewish people. There are correcting storms, usually as a result of our decisions. Correcting storms move us back on track when we stray from God.

But there are also perfecting storms. A perfecting storm is what Stephen had: He's walking with God, and they throw stones at him and it kills him. But he looked up and says "Jesus, I'm giving you my spirit." Perfecting storms are confusing. You've been walking with God, but Jesus is chistling you into His image and into who God wants you to be. Those are hard, those are confusing, and those are tough.

The fear of not measuring up, let that be a perfecting storm in your life. Have the freedom to say "God, I want to know right here and now that I cannot measure up. You have to do it through me. You have to do it, I can't do it." And you will find freedom in your life that you have never found before.

Here's the deal: Habakkuk says "If the figs fail, if the olives fail, if the crops fail, if the cows die, if the sheep die, I'm going to be joyful and walk in faith. No matter what life brings, I'm gonna walk with God." "

Devotion

I liked today's devotion, so I thought I'd share. Don't forget to visit Tiff's devotion blog periodically for an opportunity to post comments on a gamut of life questions and biblical answers.

"Snap a telescopic lens on your perspective for the next few minutes. Pull yourself up close...close enough to see the real you. From the reflection in your mental mirror, pay close attention to your life. Try your best to examine the inner "you" on the basis of time.

The only way we can do this of course is to look in two directions...backward and forward. In many ways what we see in our past and visualize in our future determnines how we view ourselves today...in that third dimension we call "the present."

As we look back, one overriding thought eclipses all others. It's not new nor very profound, but it's the truth: LIFE IS SHORT. That's not only a valid observation from experience...it's biblical.

Psalm 90 is loaded with reminders of the brevity of life. Life is short..like yesterday when it passes by...as a watch in the night..like grass it sprouts and withers...like a sigh, soon it is gone. Life is indeed short.
As we look ahead, we again see one major message. And it's neither new nor profound, but it sure is true: LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. A single adjective could precede most every event in our future: "unexpected." Unexpected surgery, transfer, change, accomplishment, loss, benefit, sickness, promotion, demotion, gift, death. Life is indeed uncertain.

Well then, since life is so brief and uncertain, how should we view our present?
I suggest there ar three words that adequately and accurately describe the present. They do not contradict either lesson we have learned from time, nor do they require rose-colored glasses. Neither do they agree with philosophy's futile meanderings. For as we look at the present, we discover: LIFE IS CHALLENGING.

Because it is short, life is packed with challenging possibilities. Because it is uncertain, it's filled with challenging adjustments. I'm convinced that's much of what Jesus meant when He promised us an abundant life. Abundant with challenges, running over with possibilities, filled with opportunities to adapt, shift, alter, and change. Come to think of it, that's the secret of staying young. It is also the path that leads to optimism and motivation.

With each new dawn, life delivers a package to your front door. When you hear that ring tomorrow morning, try something new. Have Jesus Christ answer the door for you." -- Chuck Swindoll

So, can you tell I've been doing a lot of soul-searching and thinking about the future lately? I've had a tight grip on life, lots of ideas and plans on who I thought I was and where my life was headed. God's been showing me that He's in control. It's forced me to release my grip, and buckle in for His ride. Plans without Him are utterly foolish. Ideas without His guidance just lead to frustration. My prayer for myself and for the world is that we open our hearts to His call, be willing to step out into the unknown, and let God fill in the details as only He can. It will not be a walk in the park, it will not be happily ever after, but it will be abiding in Christ and serving His purposes, and that's the only certain place we can be.

Off the Top of my Head

I'm in one of those moods where I want to talk to someone about the 80 billion things going through my head, but everyone I know (and have the guts to call) is busy tonight. Since I'm trying to give up email (extremely hard), I'll just blog instead. Not much difference, I know. I'm not sure anyone but myself will benefit from my pontificating and summarizing, so consider yourself forewarned.

I guess I'll start out with the Newsboys concert that I went to with Lindsay a few weeks ago. I had an absolutely wonderful time (in spite of the fact that the lead singer does some funky things with his eyes), mainly because I got to catch up with Linds, whom I miss dearly. One surprise for the night was that Brian Littrell (a former Backstreet Boy) was there singing his new solo Christian songs. I remember being a freshman jamming in the microphone to the Backstreet Boys with Michelle and Betsy (yes, I still have those MP3s locked up somewhere). That night at the Newsboys concert, hearing Brian talk about his wife, his life, his future, I just remember being amazed at how God works. The Backstreet Boys didn't necessarily give God honor, but Brian was so thankful for those opportunities and that blessing. It has enabled him to get on the stage now, by himself, and sing his songs from the heart. God works in mysterious ways. I certainly knew that before. What I learned that night was that He also wants us to enjoy ourselves, when we give Him the credit. You have to tread very carefully with theology here and how to phrase things, because God definitely wants us to honor Him more than He wants us to be happy. But, He also knows how to bless us, He's given us the passions and talents that we have, and He wants to see us use those and enjoy His blessings, not waste them. If God gives you a desire and an opportunity that doesn't contradict the Bible, but that you're not quite sure how it will end up honoring Him, I think it's okay to pursue those opportunities, giving it to God and letting Him lead the way. I think we'll be amazed at how God opens doors and works in our lives, when He's got the wheel.

Brian's new song "Welcome Home" is also fitting for other things I've been thinking about:
"When I left home to be who I am
Some people said no way
But I laid it all down
Gave everything
In my head rang the words
That my father said

You're never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to me
I will open my arms."

Bets and I went up to the DC-area this weekend. We had a blast! We stopped by the FDR Memorial, and I got to see one of my favorite quotes etched in that memorial: "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith." I sat along the Tidal Basin, looking out at the Jefferson Memorial, and thought about this quote. There are so many unknowns about my future, and sometimes I'm filled with doubt thinking things will never turn out. But God is faithful. He opens doors and continues to amaze me. And when that happens, I have to say without a doubt that God is the one doing the work, and I owe all that I am and all that I have to Him. If I had a motto for the past 6 months of my life, it's definitely "God is faithful." I've repeated this phrase numerous times, both as a reminder and reassurance when life's been utterly confusing, and as a praise and thanksgiving when God has answered prayers and prepared paths for me. There are still a lot of questions I have about the past 6 months, about why certain things are still confusing, about what God has in store for me from here on out. But the past 6 months or so have taught me that He is in charge and He will reveal His will in the proper time. And there's still a lot of question I have about the future, about where He is leading me and what He has in store. But He is preparing me for His future, and I must move forward with strong and active faith, keeping my eyes open to the opportunities He presents.