Grace

How often do you think about grace?

For it is by GRACE we have been saved, not by works, so that no one can boast.

By God's grace, I can look forward to heaven. By God's grace, I can live for Him today. By God's grace, I can forget the sins of yesterday and strain to become the woman He created me to be. By God's grace, I can rest and have peace. By God's grace, I can love and be loved.

Love

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." 1 John 3:1-3

I love that phrase "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us!" It's not a question, it's an exclamation. I picture God stretching out His hands and saying "This much!" And His hands are infinite, so that's a whole lot of love. This week was Valentine's Day. What a great reminder that God is love. We live empty, lonely lives without the love of Christ. So many people try to fill their lives with things that won't satisfy, things that will dissappoint, things that will fade away. Only love from the Father through Christ will quench our every desire. He lavishes His love upon us and He will guide our steps until we are with Him forever. Sadly, not everyone knows of this love. Not everyone knows the hope that gives us strength. The time is now to use the time we have now to share that love and tell of that Hope.

Plans!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

God knows the plans. I'm on a need to know basis, and I don't need to know. All I need to know is that God has it all under control. I cannot thwart His desires. I cannot concoct my own future. It is absolutely, utterly, 100% under His control. My hope is in Christ. My future is in Christ. This world is empty, pale and poor, compared to know Christ, my Lord. Lead me on and I will run after You.

Family

My family celebrated Christmas a little early this year. I had a wonderful time spending time with my wonderful family. The Lord has blessed me by surrounding me by amazing relatives. Life is full of ups and downs. Both of those were wrapped up in the funeral of my second cousin, Todd. Everyone will miss Todd dearly, but it was the most amazing funeral I have ever been to, filled with hope and peace through Christ.

On the way home, I started listening to Ginny Owens and got hooked on this song:

"All I Want To Do"
by Ginny Owens

CHORUS
All I wanna do is give this life to You
All I wanna do is give this life to You
All I wanna do is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, ‘til it’s all I wanna do

How does doubt slip in so silently?
Why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little, and living so selfishly
When all I wanna do is give this life to You
All I wanna do is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, ‘til it’s all I wanna do

What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now
Fill me with all You are
Be all I am somehow

chorus

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

Direction

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction." Winston Churchill

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss

He Maketh No Mistake

Just a reminder that our Lord is sovereign:

"He Maketh No Mistake" by A.M. Overton

My Father's way may twist and turn,
My heart may throb and ache,
But in my soul I'm glad to know,
He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But I'll trust my Lord to lead
For He doth know the way.

Tho' night be dark, and it may seem
That day will never break,
I'll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He maketh no mistake.

There's so much now I cannot see,
My eyesight's far too dim;
But come what may, I'll simply trust
And leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all He'll make,
Through all the way, tho' dark to me
He made not one mistake.

In this world, not of it

So, I've been thinking about this notion of how to attract people to a church and get them more involved and more comfortable talking about God, without the church becoming worldly. Mostly I just overanalyze things, because after all, God is at work through the Church and I'll never completely understand or get it right, but occasionally I learn something from my overanalyzing, even if it's just learning that I was way off in the first place. With that said:

I've noticed that movies and music are two things that just about anyone these days has an interest in. As Christians in this world, we are surrounded by it. How great would it be if we would look at our movies and music, and tie it into conversations about Biblical principles? Instead of talking about how great an actor such and such was and how the plot didn't quite turn out how we expected, what if we analyzed the movies and music we listened to from a Biblical perspective: what morals and Biblical principles were displayed (or contradicted) in the movie? What motivated the characters and how should a Christian behave under similar circumstances? How beneficial would it be if we didn't view such things as simply entertainment, but rather as a means that we could use to grow spiritually and reach out and spark conversations about God and Christ with others?

Along these lines, I led 2 Bible studies last year with this intent: One looked at Christian music and reflected upon the lyrics and Biblical themes and lessons we can glean from the songs. The other looked at movies and reflected upon the plot and characters and Biblical themes or parallels it included. I must say preparing these Bible studies took a lot of time, but I learned so much and there were a lot of resources on the Internet.

Ultimately, isn't the goal to evaluate everything in life from a Biblical viewpoint, to "deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously, and godly in the present age (Titus 2:12)? If you're interested in seeing the Bible studies, let me know.

Study Music

I've got a big programming assignment due that I've been procrastinating, of course. So, I've got hours of coding in front of me. I dug up my CDs for some good study music and ran across Third Day's Offerings II CD. I love these guys! Two lyrics made an impact tonight:

IMPACT ONE:
"Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus."

These lyrics are a cry to Jesus to guide my life and take the wheel, even when I am stubborn and try to grasp hold of my own future and my own desires.

IMPACT TWO: (I've always liked this song, but I particularly like Mac Powell's words in the middle of the live version)

I see all the people
Wasting all their time
Building up their riches
For a life that's fine.
But nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You Lord
Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You Lord

Mac Powell: Those words that were spoken and written by the Apostle Paul apply just as much to our lives today as they did 2000 years ago when he wrote them. That in our lives no matter where we could go, or who we could meet, or what we could see, or what we could earn or be given to us or accomplish, there is nothing in our lives that will ever even come close to the greatness of knowing Jesus Christ our Lord.

And I find myself just living for today
Cuz I don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring
So no matter if I rise or fall
I'll never be alone

Thanksgiving

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It started off with a Thanksgiving Eve service at Holy Cross. I really like Pastor Hafer. He is so genuine and to the point. He'll challenge you when you need challenging and remind you of God's grace when you need reminding. His sermon was on the top 4 things to be thankful for: God's grace; God's plan for your life; God's eternal salvation; the changes God makes in our life. The challenge was to identify something in your life that is jailing you in, keeping you from being joyful and letting God rule in your life. I certainly needed a reminder about how God has a plan EVEN WHEN WE MESS UP! When we make "bad decisions" or follow our own will, God works it to His glory. There is nothing I can do to thwart the sovereignty of God, and that fact gives me joy, peace, and confidence as a Christian. Church service followed up by discussions about faith with a friend, it doesn't get any better than that.

Thanksgiving was at my folks house, involving my immediate family (3 nieces, whoop!) and my aunt, cousins, and their kids (4 tremendously cute boys). It was a handful at times, but man oh man, times with family are so important and such a blessing. These are people who have been with me growing up, through the good times and bad, and I can count on them to be there anytime I need them. Taking a break from my hectic schedule and spending it with them was very refreshing. I hope they know how important they are to me. If it is the Lord's will, I pray that someday in the future I will be blessed with a Christian family of my own, and I pray that He prepare me for that.

So, I will go to sleep tonight giving thanks for the fact that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and I entrust my future to His care.

Through Gates of Splendor

I just finished reading "Through Gates of Splendor" by Elisabeth Elliot. I had been reading "The Mystery of God's Will" by Chuck Swindoll (a great book), in which Chuck mentioned this book by Elliot as one that impacted him greatly. Derek Webb once said that he was a huge fan of Bob Dylan. He learned all about his music, lyrics, style, etc. Then, he began looking into the music of those who inspired Dylan, and in that way, he really was able to learn about Dylan and his perspective on music. So, in this way, I wanted to learn Chuck's perspective in writing the Mystery of God's Will. It just so happened that I saw the book in Scripture Haven, so I made the purchase, started reading it this weekend, and put off a lot of schoolwork to finish it.

This was the first book I've ever read about missionaries. Throughout the book I was impressed by the strength, courage, and faith of those in the story. They wanted so badly to spread the Gospel to the savage Indian tribes, that they were willing to overcome the risks. It's all about priorities and recognizing the sheer importance of the Good News of Salvation through Jesus Christ. These guys were willing to take their faith into Ecuador, risking their lives, and I struggle taking my faith to the workplace and the classroom? Wow, I've been living in comfortable America for way too long. I would LOVE to go on the Spring Break mission trip again this year, but I don't know if that is God's will. We'll see what happens. I'll close with a quote from the book:

"God is God. If He is God, He is worthy of my worship and my service. I will find rest nowhere but in His will, and that will is infinitely immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to...God is the God of human history, and He is at work continuously, mysteriously, accomplishing His eternal purposes in us, through us, for us and in spite of us."

Direction

At this point in my life, I have about 4 different options of paths I could take in my career, future, etc. I'm the most indecisive person I know, so I have no idea how I am going to pick one, and more importantly, how to ensure I am satisfied with my choice. The thing is that I *wish* I could follow all 4 directions. I know each would teach me something different and I know each would be an amazing opportunity in its own way. This is where prayer, trust, faith, and absolute abandonment to God's will comes in. I desperately want His direction in making my decisions. Although I have moments of doubt, I know that the path of the future is in His hands. So, I won't choose based on my own desires, I won't choose based on my own safety and comfort, I won't choose based on my limited view of the future. I will pray that He direct me, and I will let Him take the wheel.

Seriously

Sometimes I think I'm way too serious. Ok, those of you who know me as a jokester full of corny jokes are probably laughing right now. True, I enjoy a good laugh, and I do that to keep my sanity. But when I'm not joking around, I'm typically over-analyzing and worrying too much. Will I ever learn to give everything up to the Lord and rest in the peace of knowing that He always provides? As always, some lyrics that somewhat relates to this issue:

Rachael Lampa "You Never Know"
I try to figure in the time
When miracles should happen to appear
And when it comes down to it
There's nothing more that I can do down here
I wanna place it in your hands
Even though I wanna understand...
If you wanna spend your life
In your design, you're only wasting time.

Great Commission

I started listening to Derek Webb again. I love his music! Currently, The House Show is spinning in my CD-ROM drive (which broke last week but I was able to get replaced under warranty, whoop!) I like this song by Aaron Tate:

----------------------
go in peace to love and to serve
let your ears ring long with what you’ve heard
and may the bread on your tongue
leave a trail of crumbs
to lead the hungry back to the place that you are from

and take to the world this love, hope and faith
take to the world this rare, relentless grace
and like the three in one
know you must become what you want to save
‘cause that’s still the way
He takes to the world

go, and go far
take light deep in the dark
believe what’s true
He uses all, even you
-----------------------

As I decide what's in store for my future, this song reminds me of what's really important.

Needs

I love music. Sometimes the lyrics of an artist give me insight to my own life and situations. It reminds me that we are all human and we all face the same problems, regardless of our culture or our history. Every human has needs. Everyone seeks to fill those needs. The difference is in how we fill those needs and what we fill those needs with. Christians realize that ONLY God can fill our needs. NOTHING in this world can satisfy us apart from God. Not money, not a husband, not a wife, not a career, not a house, not a good joke, nothing. Sure, God uses those things to bless us and enable us to carry out His will. But if we search to build up those things for ourself, apart from God, we search in vain. We must ask the Lord to help us make Him our number one priority. When we do that, everything else will fall into place in God's perfect timing.

One of my favorite praise songs, although simple, reminds me of this:
"Oh how I need You Lord
You are my only hope
You’re my only prayer.
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
To come and give me life."

Are we waiting for the Lord, or are we building up a life for ourselves?

Uncertainty

It hit me today how I have absolutely no idea what I'll be doing in 2 months. Wow. My life is changing right before my eyes. Amazingly, I haven't been as stressed about it as I would have expected. It's in the Lord's hand, He will provide and take care of me, all I have to do is walk and listen, right? Of course, somedays are easier than others, but I'm doing my best to leave everything in the Lord's hands.

I talked to my advisor yesterday about job offers. She flat out told me to take the job with the highest salary because that will make the department look good. I had to hold in a laugh. Nevermind my happiness, my goals, my ideas of what is important in life, it's all about money! Well, I don't buy that attitude. I would work for nothing if I were doing something that I loved, something beneficial and with a cause. And, I would get so frustrated and fed-up if I were stuck in a pointless job, even if I were paid millions. I'm surprised to find out that I may be in the minority on this attitude. How can people use money as a motivation? I just don't understand it. Everyone has a right to live their lives however they want to. I'm putting my trust in the Lord. Somewhere out there is God's plan for me. These 24 years that have led me to this point right now have been to prepare me for where He is leading me next. That next step is getting closer and closer, and I pray that He makes it clear to me as I face all of these decisions.

Questions

Life is full of questions. I definitely have more questions than I ever have answers. But this song by Paul Coleman reminds me of the one certainty on which I can ALWAYS stand:

"Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valleys and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here
Oh that brought me here

I’ve questioned my reasons
The life I’m living
I’ve questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I’ve questioned all the things
that I’ve ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

Chorus:
But the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like You say You do
Yea the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like You say You do
Hold me Hold me
So Hold me

Well I’ve questioned my significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I’m doing really matter at all?
Well I’ve questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?"

Sororities

You definitely seem like the sorority girl type, so I can't say I'm suprised. I guess I'm a little hurt, but that's no one's fault but my own.

I Wait

I love music. I love the way words can speak to my heart and my life. Tonight I've been listening to Todd Agnew. His song "Wait for Your Rain" says a lot about what I've been thinking about lately:

"I throw myself on Your mercy
I throw myself at Your feet
I throw my filth on the grace of One who's beauty is beyond me
And I wait
I wait for Your rain to fall
The waves of Your grace to wash over me
I wait for Your rain to fall
Strange how forgiveness comes so easily
When I call Your name
And wait for Your rain"

Opportunity

"The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity." ~ Leonard Ravenhill

Peace

The Lord is mighty and powerful. He knows just what we need when we need it. I have been learning a lot of lessons recently, and one of the big ones is about peace. I know there will be rough roads ahead, but I thank my God for taking care of me and providing for me. I'll close with a quote about peace that I ran across:

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." -- Robert Muller