On staying busy

In general, I try to stay pretty busy. It took me a while to learn how to rest, relax, and just enjoy moments of life for what they are. In fact, I'm a bit of a workaholic, so I'm still learning that daily. But I'm trying to find that balance between being a workaholic and being lazy.

I've been quoting John Piper a lot, but I read something he wrote about rest/retirement while I was eating lunch today, and I really liked it:

"How many Christians set their sights on a "Sabbath evening" of life--resting, playing, traveling, and so on--the world's substitute for heaven, because they do not believe that there will be one beyond the grave. The mind-set is that we must reward ourselves in this life for our long years of labor. Eternal rest and joy after death is an irrelevant consideration. What a strange reward for a Christian to set his sights on! Twenty years of leisure while living in the midst of the last days of infinite consequence for millions of unreached people. What a tragic way to finish the last lap before entering the presence of the King who finished his so differently!"

Reading things like this makes me want to be one of those people who never retires. Sure, I might retire from the official 9-5, but I hope I'm always active and doing something useful for His kingdom.

What frustrates me the most about staying busy is when I don't have time to hang out with new friends and get to know them, or do something spontaneous, or meet someone for lunch. For a long time, I kept my schedule so tight, there wasn't time for anything unless it was planned in advance. Nothing says "You're important to me" as poorly as "well, sorry, but I just can't squeeze that in." You know what they say, "You make time for the things that are important to you." That's why Christ should be part of everything we do; He is our life and we should make time to study His word, spread His message, and expand His church.

Change

My natural reaction is to resist change. I tend to put a lot of thought into my decisions (and "a lot" is probably an understatement!), so changing what I'm used to is a struggle b/c it means new decisions and new unknowns. But if things never change, well, things get old, boring, stagnant. My friend Betsy says "There's no such thing as standing still in life. If you're not moving forward, you're actually moving backwards." The truth of that statement has become more real to me lately. Life at A&M and at ULC and around College Station has been amazing. I've been blessed by wonderful fellowship, an amazing pastor who will forever be my lifelong friend, a place where I could grow in Christ, ask my questions, and learn how to lead others. It is so tempting to hold on to that, to try to freeze time, be a pondering college student forever, staying up past midnight, hosting game nights, and all that jazz. People tell me that college life is one of the best times of your life. If that's true, I suppose it's natural to never want that to end. Especially lately as I have gotten to know some awesome people here who have refreshed my perspective on what it means to live for Christ as a community of believers.

I've always said I'll never grow up. I keep my koosh collection, my corny jokes, my stuffed animal... as ways to make sure I never do. I want to keep my light-hearted spirit, to have fun and laugh one's cares away. But life is calling me to grow up right now, and God is preparing me for it. I have a feeling I'm about to get slapped in the face by the real world. If I turn into a lonely, bitter lady consumed by the cares of this world, snap me out of it!! I have absolutely no idea what to expect, but I've gotta step forward and see how this new adventure goes. I pray that the Lord will provide fellowship for me, a place where I can continue to grow in faith and people who will provide me with much needed encouragement. But I'm beginning to realize that fellowship might look different than I'm used to. It won't just be with others my age, who have my same interests, but it will include families, older couples, young kids; basically a variety of people in a number of life stages. And how enriching that will be! But it will take time to develop those friendships, especially for someone like me, who has a bad habit of being cautious and closed off until I get to know ya.

What saddens me the most about new beginnings is leaving behind the friends I have now. Those friendships that I love and cherish now will inevitably change. This is the hardest change for me to deal with. But there is a time and a place for everything, and God's got a reason for the timing and the places He sends us.

Ebenezer

One of my favorite hymns since my freshman year is "Come Thou Fount". At various points in my life, different parts of that song have really stood out to me. A comment from a friend made me start thinking about my Ebenezers today, naturally bringing to mind the line "Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by thy help I've come." How often we sing that, but do we actually DO that? In order to do it, we must understand what an Ebenezer is.

The word "Ebenezer" comes from Hebrew and is actually two words pronounced together: "Even Ezer." It literally means: "Stone of Help." It's referenced in the Bible in 1 Samuel 7:12: "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer; for he said, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." So the Philistines were subdued and did not again enter the territory of Israel; the hand of the LORD was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel. "

Perhaps you've looked up this information in the past, as I did my freshman year, but stopped there, as I did my freshman year. But God has a way of showing us the things we miss the first time. What I missed the first time was why it was an important thing for Samuel to do and glean any practical application in my own life. I thought "Aha, so that's what the hymn is referring to. That's cool, how awesome of Samuel." And went along singing the song as always, with a tad bit more insight. Why did Samuel raise his Ebenezer? To serve as a reminder of the Lord's faithfulness, provision, and providence. But of course, the Isrealites were notorious for forgetting things. They complained, worshipped idols, went their own way. We see that in Samuel's farewell speech in chapter 12. Samuel concludes by encouraging us to remember what great things the Lord has done: "But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you." That is the whole purpose of an Ebenezer.

A similar passage is found in Joshua 4 after the crossing of the Jordan: "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

God is GREAT! He provides us with everything we need. We should have things that symbolize the Lord's provision in our life. We should raise our Ebenezers, daily cry out "Thus far the Lord has helped me!" So let's all go out and get some stones and build our Ebenezers! Well, not necessarily, that's just a ritual, it's not the stones themselves that mean anything, it's the heart, the meaning, the motivation behind the object. It's about the story. But the point is, we should actively be taking note of the great things God is doing in our lives. We all have a story, we should be ready to share it! Sometimes it's hard to see what God is up to; sometimes we don't see it until years down the road; many times we never see the full scope of God's actions. But everyday God helps us, and we must remember that! One way to do that is to keep a journal.

But at this point, I begin to think "Hmm, Samuel didn't build Ebenezers after each battle. God surely helped them all the time. So, is an Ebenezer only for significant events? Is it only for the conclusion of some important era?" At this point, yes Betsy, I'm thinking WAY too much. But my conclusion is that we should have both daily Ebenezers and milestone Ebenezers. We should always be able to tell someone about the great things the Lord is doing in our lives. And we should also be ready to point them to those big milestones, those turning points. Those times where we were on our knees, face down in the dirt, with no hope of our own merit, and the Lord in His grace helped us. We achieved more than we could have dreamed because it was the Lord's power at work in us. Trouble is that I don't know how to symbolize that. I think concrete reminders have more meaning than conceptual visuals, but what would a modern-day Ebenezer look like?

We need something that might cause someone to ask us "What does that _____ mean?" To which we can reply with a story pointing all glory to God. If I were an artist, I'd paint a picture of these turning points. If I didn't "really suck at playing the guitar" (those were the lyrics to the first song I ever wrote by the way, gee, I wonder why I'm no John Mayer right now...), I'd write it in a song. If I remembered much rhetoric, I'd elaborate my stories into classical novels. But I'm a computer programmer. I create visualizations and administrate systems. I guess the closest thing I can get to an Ebenezer is a blog post.

That said, I'm at a point in my life right now where I want to raise my Ebenezer. I remember so vividly a time in February where all I could do was plead for God's help, giving Him my future and my life in a way I never had before. I had been trying to carve out my own future, and I was going nowhere. I realized that there were all these things in my life that I had built for myself as safety cushions, such that I would feel in control of my life. I came to a point where God made me realize in new ways that this life is about HIM, not me. My future is about serving HIM, not being comfortable. It's about finding JOY in HIS blessings, not creating happiness with my own desires. Oh, how many lessons I had to learn, and how excruciatingly tough they were (as Rev K can affirm). But the Lord has renewed my hope, restored my joy, uplifted my spirit, and granted me strength to follow and trust Him. As I move into the next chapter of life, knowing only that my God is before me, I want to say "Hither by Thy help I've come". I am where I am, I have gotten to this point, only because the Lord has prepared me for this time and place; He has helped me get here; He deserves all the glory. I realize that these comments are rather vague, but I can say with confidence that the Lord is faithful. And when all is said and done "I hope by Thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home."

What's interesting about this hymn is that it wasn't until June of this year on a camping trip that I learned there was a 4th verse:

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Oh what a promise! How glorious it will be when we are freed from sinning, standing face to face with our Creator, cleansed by His blood, singing of His grace. I love the imagery of a ransomed souls; Christ paid the ultimate price for our souls. What a small sacrifice for us to give Him what is already His: our lives, our future, our faith.

Fellowship

My soon-to-be-a-pastor friend Jason said something today to which I say "I second that":

"Basically, the long and short of this (but mostly the short) is that church is not always just about Sunday morning worship and Bible study. Church is about people spending time together with the ultimate goal of having faith in Christ and living a life that pleases God. But sometimes we have to start in other places, doing things that people do on their own. Sometimes that means starting a new hobby or revelling in one you already have, being sure to spend time with people who are Christian and non-Christian. The opportunity to tell people the Gospel is not mainly at church or by giving out Bible tracts at the local mall (which, by the way, is not usually a good idea); it is mainly when we spend time with people, being their friends and getting to know them. Only when we get to know our friends and their backgrounds
will they care to know us and our faith; only when we spend time doing what other people enjoy doing will they come do what we enjoy (or hopefully should enjoy): going to church and Bible study. Otherwise, we are just whistling Dixie."

Being involved at church is important, but even more important is being a Christian example and a caring friend to the non-believers that surround us. This is important for me to remember as I prepare to move and plant roots in a new place. The nice little bubble that I grew up in is about to be striped away, but God will still be there, so I'm ready for it...

Time

As I get older, the concept of time just blows my mind. Everyone on earth gets the same amount of time each day. Yet people do so many different things with the amount of time they have. The kids in Uganda in Invisible Children spend their days surviving and avoiding the rebel army, because they have to. Some kids in America spend their days in front of a computer screen, because they choose to and have that "luxury". Dads spend their days in the office, college students at parties, the list goes on. I'm convinced that the key to success (aside from relying on God and avoiding society's view of success) is learning what to do with the 24 hours you are given each day.

I fail miserably at this. I try to stay busy, but I think my perfectionistic nature leads me down the path of spending way too much time on things that aren't all that important. I need to learn when to say "that's good enough". Or when to say "I just need to make a decision and move on with my life!" We all talk about time management, as if it's some foreign concept that no one is really able to achieve. Is it achievable? Probably not for a self-critic like me, until I change my perspective. I want to talk to those folks who have figured out the work-life balance. Maybe you have it figured out? If so, fill me in!! My sister tells me that life just gets more complicated. "Enjoy the easy pace of life now, while you're single and have time on your hands and your decisions only impact yourself." she says as I complain about things. I definitely see her point.

My goal for the week is to analyze how I spend my time. Are there things I can cut out and replace with more important things? What does it take to achieve that work-life balance?

Reminiscing

I ran across this article that I wrote for the church newsletter in December. Now that I'm ACTUALLY leaving A&M, I thought I'd repost it here for posterity. I'm really going to miss this place, but I'm reminded that this is a place of preparation, where God builds leaders and teaches us to put Him as the foundation of our lives. He then sends us out to places where that preparation can be put to further use to impact His kingdom. Times of transition involve trust. And stepping forward in faith is the only way to live for Christ.

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The other students at University Lutheran Chapel often call me “old” these days since I have been involved at ULC for more than six years now. Therefore, as an old Ag, allow me to partake in the tradition of reminiscing about Old Army days and share what ULC has meant to me:

As freshman, I heard there was a Lutheran church within walking distance from my dorm. Since my car was parked miles away in the infamous “Fish lot,” walking to church was very appealing. ULC was very small at the time, with about 30 people in worship, all college students except the pastor and his wife. I was instantly recognized as a visitor, but I was also instantly welcomed. The warm fellowship, combined with solid teachings of Christ as our Savior, convinced me to continue attending worship on Sunday mornings. Within a few months, I was attending ULC events throughout the week, taking on leadership roles, growing spiritually, and forming lifelong friendships.

I never could have imagined the ways I would grow at ULC through my college years. ULC provided opportunities for me attend mission trips, lead Bible studies, be an officer in Lutheran Student Fellowship, interact with international students, and even organize interviews as we looked for a new pastor in 2003. These experiences helped improve my leadership skills, but most of all they helped me grow in faith and keep my priorities in check.

ULC has grown tremendously since I first started attending in 1999. We now have an average of 80 people attending worship. We have a larger worship facility, a larger parking lot, even a larger kitchen (very important since Lutherans like to eat!) It has been a privilege to see this change take place and to see God at work in the lives of so many students. But amidst all the change, many things remain the same at ULC. Still today, freshmen are stepping up and taking on leadership roles. Students are making time in their schedules for Bible studies and spending their Spring Break on mission trips. Graduating seniors are preparing to be Christian examples in the workplace and to get involved in their new churches.

I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 4:7, which says “So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” As I reflect on all the ways ULC and the people at ULC have grown over the years, I see the Lord’s hand at work through it all, and I give thanks to Him who has made it all possible.

Habakkuk

I was preparing for tonight's Habakkuk Bible study at lunch today by listening to a Gregg Matte talk. Gregg said something that I want to record here, as it encompasses a number of things I've been over-analyzing lately:

"Do not fear being single your whole life.
Do not fear not getting a job.
Do not fear not having people like you.
Do not fear those things.
Oh, but be so afraid to not walk in the will of God.
Be so afraid, be so afraid.
Not because God's gonna get you.
But because you will begin to make decisions that will bring storms that you don't want.

For Habakkuk, the storms came in to correct the Jewish people. There are correcting storms, usually as a result of our decisions. Correcting storms move us back on track when we stray from God.

But there are also perfecting storms. A perfecting storm is what Stephen had: He's walking with God, and they throw stones at him and it kills him. But he looked up and says "Jesus, I'm giving you my spirit." Perfecting storms are confusing. You've been walking with God, but Jesus is chistling you into His image and into who God wants you to be. Those are hard, those are confusing, and those are tough.

The fear of not measuring up, let that be a perfecting storm in your life. Have the freedom to say "God, I want to know right here and now that I cannot measure up. You have to do it through me. You have to do it, I can't do it." And you will find freedom in your life that you have never found before.

Here's the deal: Habakkuk says "If the figs fail, if the olives fail, if the crops fail, if the cows die, if the sheep die, I'm going to be joyful and walk in faith. No matter what life brings, I'm gonna walk with God." "

Devotion

I liked today's devotion, so I thought I'd share. Don't forget to visit Tiff's devotion blog periodically for an opportunity to post comments on a gamut of life questions and biblical answers.

"Snap a telescopic lens on your perspective for the next few minutes. Pull yourself up close...close enough to see the real you. From the reflection in your mental mirror, pay close attention to your life. Try your best to examine the inner "you" on the basis of time.

The only way we can do this of course is to look in two directions...backward and forward. In many ways what we see in our past and visualize in our future determnines how we view ourselves today...in that third dimension we call "the present."

As we look back, one overriding thought eclipses all others. It's not new nor very profound, but it's the truth: LIFE IS SHORT. That's not only a valid observation from experience...it's biblical.

Psalm 90 is loaded with reminders of the brevity of life. Life is short..like yesterday when it passes by...as a watch in the night..like grass it sprouts and withers...like a sigh, soon it is gone. Life is indeed short.
As we look ahead, we again see one major message. And it's neither new nor profound, but it sure is true: LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. A single adjective could precede most every event in our future: "unexpected." Unexpected surgery, transfer, change, accomplishment, loss, benefit, sickness, promotion, demotion, gift, death. Life is indeed uncertain.

Well then, since life is so brief and uncertain, how should we view our present?
I suggest there ar three words that adequately and accurately describe the present. They do not contradict either lesson we have learned from time, nor do they require rose-colored glasses. Neither do they agree with philosophy's futile meanderings. For as we look at the present, we discover: LIFE IS CHALLENGING.

Because it is short, life is packed with challenging possibilities. Because it is uncertain, it's filled with challenging adjustments. I'm convinced that's much of what Jesus meant when He promised us an abundant life. Abundant with challenges, running over with possibilities, filled with opportunities to adapt, shift, alter, and change. Come to think of it, that's the secret of staying young. It is also the path that leads to optimism and motivation.

With each new dawn, life delivers a package to your front door. When you hear that ring tomorrow morning, try something new. Have Jesus Christ answer the door for you." -- Chuck Swindoll

So, can you tell I've been doing a lot of soul-searching and thinking about the future lately? I've had a tight grip on life, lots of ideas and plans on who I thought I was and where my life was headed. God's been showing me that He's in control. It's forced me to release my grip, and buckle in for His ride. Plans without Him are utterly foolish. Ideas without His guidance just lead to frustration. My prayer for myself and for the world is that we open our hearts to His call, be willing to step out into the unknown, and let God fill in the details as only He can. It will not be a walk in the park, it will not be happily ever after, but it will be abiding in Christ and serving His purposes, and that's the only certain place we can be.

Off the Top of my Head

I'm in one of those moods where I want to talk to someone about the 80 billion things going through my head, but everyone I know (and have the guts to call) is busy tonight. Since I'm trying to give up email (extremely hard), I'll just blog instead. Not much difference, I know. I'm not sure anyone but myself will benefit from my pontificating and summarizing, so consider yourself forewarned.

I guess I'll start out with the Newsboys concert that I went to with Lindsay a few weeks ago. I had an absolutely wonderful time (in spite of the fact that the lead singer does some funky things with his eyes), mainly because I got to catch up with Linds, whom I miss dearly. One surprise for the night was that Brian Littrell (a former Backstreet Boy) was there singing his new solo Christian songs. I remember being a freshman jamming in the microphone to the Backstreet Boys with Michelle and Betsy (yes, I still have those MP3s locked up somewhere). That night at the Newsboys concert, hearing Brian talk about his wife, his life, his future, I just remember being amazed at how God works. The Backstreet Boys didn't necessarily give God honor, but Brian was so thankful for those opportunities and that blessing. It has enabled him to get on the stage now, by himself, and sing his songs from the heart. God works in mysterious ways. I certainly knew that before. What I learned that night was that He also wants us to enjoy ourselves, when we give Him the credit. You have to tread very carefully with theology here and how to phrase things, because God definitely wants us to honor Him more than He wants us to be happy. But, He also knows how to bless us, He's given us the passions and talents that we have, and He wants to see us use those and enjoy His blessings, not waste them. If God gives you a desire and an opportunity that doesn't contradict the Bible, but that you're not quite sure how it will end up honoring Him, I think it's okay to pursue those opportunities, giving it to God and letting Him lead the way. I think we'll be amazed at how God opens doors and works in our lives, when He's got the wheel.

Brian's new song "Welcome Home" is also fitting for other things I've been thinking about:
"When I left home to be who I am
Some people said no way
But I laid it all down
Gave everything
In my head rang the words
That my father said

You're never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to me
I will open my arms."

Bets and I went up to the DC-area this weekend. We had a blast! We stopped by the FDR Memorial, and I got to see one of my favorite quotes etched in that memorial: "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith." I sat along the Tidal Basin, looking out at the Jefferson Memorial, and thought about this quote. There are so many unknowns about my future, and sometimes I'm filled with doubt thinking things will never turn out. But God is faithful. He opens doors and continues to amaze me. And when that happens, I have to say without a doubt that God is the one doing the work, and I owe all that I am and all that I have to Him. If I had a motto for the past 6 months of my life, it's definitely "God is faithful." I've repeated this phrase numerous times, both as a reminder and reassurance when life's been utterly confusing, and as a praise and thanksgiving when God has answered prayers and prepared paths for me. There are still a lot of questions I have about the past 6 months, about why certain things are still confusing, about what God has in store for me from here on out. But the past 6 months or so have taught me that He is in charge and He will reveal His will in the proper time. And there's still a lot of question I have about the future, about where He is leading me and what He has in store. But He is preparing me for His future, and I must move forward with strong and active faith, keeping my eyes open to the opportunities He presents.

Evangelism

I read this comment about Evangelism in "Let the Nations be Glad" by John Piper. Something about it really impacted me when reading it tonight, so I thought I'd share:

"Compassion for the lost is a high and beautiful motive for missionary labor. Without it, we lose the sweet humility of sharing a treasure we have freely recieved. But we have seen that compassion for people must not be detached from passion for the glory of God. John Dawson, a leader in Youth With A Mission, gives an additional reason why this is so. He points out that a strong feeling of love for "the lost" or "the world" is a very difficult experience to sustain and is not always recognizable when it comes:

'Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have a love for the lost? This is a term we use as part of our Christian jargon. Many believers search their hearts in condemnation, looking for the arrival of some feeling of benevolence that will propel them into bold evangelism. It will never happen. It is impossible to love "the lost." You can't feel deeply for an abstraction or a concept. You would find it impossible to love deeply an unfamiliar individual portrayed in a photograph, let alone a nation or a race or something as vague as "all lost people."

Don't wait for a feeling of love in order to share Christ with a stranger. You already love your heavenly Father, and you know that this stranger is created by Him, but separated from Him, so take those first steps in evangelism because you love God. It is not primarily out of a compassion for humanity that we share our faith or pray for the lost; it is first of all, love for God. The Bible says in Ephesians 6 "With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

Humanity does not deserve the love of God any more than you or I do. We should never be Christian humanists, taking Jesus to poor sinful people, reducing Jesus to some kind of product that will better their lot. People deserve to be damned, but Jesus, the suffering Lamb of God, deserves the reward of His suffering.'" [pg 41-42]

Questions

It breaks my heart to think of all the times I didn't appreciate what someone did for me. Or times I didn't explain how much something meant to me. Sometimes I just want to go back in time, pick up the unsaid words and the forgotten thanks, and shower it upon those people that mean so much to me.

How many things do we take for granted each day?

How many people ache for encouragement they never receive?

How many times are we so wrapped up in our own lives that we don't lend a helping hand or a listening ear?

Why does it take leaving to realize how much people mean to you?

All these questions have been weighing on my heart lately. Sure, it's impossible to do everything and be there for everyone... but do we really realize that fellowship and servanthood is what Christian life is all about? Are we really trying to live in Christ's example?

Letters

The Lord answered a prayer for me today via a letter in the mail. God is so good, and encouragement is so important. Think about who has impacted your life and send them a note of encouragement today. Not an email, a geniune hand-written letter in the mail. You never know how much it might mean to them.

Weekend

This weekend was amazing. I got to chat with old friends at a wedding, see all my nieces and immediate family, hang out at the annual Camp Lone Star BBQ, and top it off with good conversation over dinner. Honestly, it's been awhile since I've laughed as much as I did this weekend, cried as much as I did this weekend, and talked (well.. listened, because if you know me, you know I usually do much more listening than talking. Learn a lot more about people and things that way.) as much as I did this weekend. And through it all, God has been teaching me a lot about life. I'll have to mull over these lessons and see if I can sum them up in a future post, but I'll leave that for another time.

Foxtrot

I always knew Foxtrot spoke to me. Bill Amend is all about my kind of humor. As one of my friends pointed out, Foxtrot also speaks *about* me now too in the following comic, as I think anyone who really knows me would agree:

(click on the picture to see it larger...)

Good Times

I got to see an old friend this week. He and his wife were in town helping his little sister move into a new apartment. It was amazingly refreshing to see them. Schiff is just as he always was, but all-grown up and with lots of stories to tell. He spent number of months in Iraq and made it through safely with pictures, funny stories, and things that are barely experiences, as his sister would say. I wish I could catch up with all my old friends, but the evilness of time makes people part ways and lose touch. Reminds me of a song that goes something to the effect of "I wish I could gather all my friends together in one room and just tell stories." I would guess the closest anyone ever gets to that is at a wedding. Going to a wedding tomorrow, so I'll get to see more old friends! Hooray!

Purpose

I was asked recently why God created us. The question was along the lines of "Was He bored, lonely, in need of entertainment?" To which I quickly shout "No!" God does not get bored or lonely, and He certainly needs no entertainment from us. But the root of the question is important: God existed before "time" began. So, why did He even start the clock? Why put life into motion and deal with sin and human beings with free will? To what purpose? Perhaps it's one of those elementary questions, or it actually goes pretty deep, or perhaps as I'm thinking deeply, I'm actually just overanalyzing a completely simple question...

In any event, I'm pretty comfortable with the question of "What is a man's purpose" in regards to a man's mortal life. Our purpose on this earth is to serve God and honor Him in all we attempt to do. Everything else, or anything else without that purpose, seems so incredibly meaningless and can never satisfy. But expand that to "What is the purpose of God" or "what was God's motivation in creation", and my answers don't flow quite as quickly. Mainly because I haven't quite overanalyzed it enough just yet ;-) My initial answer is Love. But that requires love to be defined and discussed, and there are so many different views on what love actually is, that we'd all get side-tracked and forget the whole point. [ah, the memories of "that summer", but I digress] Tonight I read the following relating to this issue, so I thought I'd share. It's in the first chapter of "Let the nations be glad" by John Piper:

"What I [John Piper] am claiming is the answer to the first question of the Westminster Catechism is the same when asked concerning God as it is when asked concerning man. Question: "What is the chief end of man?" Answer: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever." Question: "What is the chief end of God?" Answer: "The chief end of God is to glorify God and enjoy Himself forever." "

Caution!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how safe our lives are. With the wars going on in the Middle East, with poverty all around world, America is an amazing place to live. How blessed we are to attend a public university like A&M, which I'm convinced is the most Christian non-Christian university in the world. If someone doesn't get plugged in while they're here, it's not due to a lack of religious organizations, that's for sure. This is a great training ground, where you can ponder through your questions, seek fellowship, and seek the truth. In fact, after a while, the training ground can be so comfortable that it's tempting to stay.

I've been told that one's senior year in the Corps is much easier than then when they were a fish. They know what to expect, they've proven they can do it, they've spent the time stretching their limits and seeing what they're made of, they've earned certain rights and respect. But going thru the Corps doesn't prepare someone to stay in the Corps, it prepares them for something more, something greater ahead, bigger challenges and bigger accomplishments.

It's tempting to bask in the glory of our successes and wallow in the comforts of our accomplishments. But stay there too long, and you're surrounded by regrets and what ifs. Peace, quiet, serenity, comfort. These are good things. They refresh us and renew us. But they are only a means, they are not the end. The peaceful times revive us so we can be strong and steadfast during the turbulent times. The training ground builds a firm foundation that God uses to build our futures on. I thank God for the comforts we have here in America, but I pray we don't get spoiled by them. I pray we remember that it is achieved at a great cost and that comfort can be an idol when it prevents us from doing God's will and causes us to look only at ourselves. There are so many lost souls out there. A cushy job and a nice home won't save them, but a faithful servant who steps out of the American dream and into the will of God can, through the power of the Holy Spirit. Along these lines, a quote from "Spiritual Leadership:

"Robert Louis Stevenson called the attitude of safety and security "that dismal fungus." Hudson Taylor took steps of faith that appeared to others as wildcat schemes. The greatest achievements in the history of missions have come from leaders close to God who took courageous, calculated risks.

More failure comes from an excess of caution than from bold experiments with new ideas. A friend who filled an important global post in Christian outreach recently remarked that when he surveyed his life, most of his failures came from insufficient daring. The wife of Archbishop Mowll said "The frontiers of the kingdom of God were never advanced by men and women of caution."

A leader cannot afford to ignore the counsel of cautious people, who can save a mission from mistakes and loss. But caution should never curb vision and initiative, especially when the leader knows God is in control."

No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets.

I ran across this bio recently:
http://home.snu.edu/~HCULBERT/regret.htm

I vaguely remember reading or hearing that story before, but I don't quite remember it having the same effect on me as this week. These days there's lots of talk about "purpose". How do I know if I'm following the will of God? Can He use me? How will He use me? What if I just mess everything up? There's books on the topic, talks on the topic. There's probably even movies and comic strips on the topic. And frankly, it's starting to scare me. People are so focused on finding their purpose, their meaning to existence, that sometimes they plan God right out of the picture. They take spiritual gift inventories, personality profiles. They follow the disciplines and do all the right things, hoping they will find their purpose, as if it's hiding in a dark corner somewhere. And I say this because I'm guilty of it too. Over the past 6 months or so, God has taught me a whole lot of lessons relating to this issue. If I had to sum it up, I'd say "It's all about God." That sounds so trivial, so simple, yet I must confess that I forget it time and time again. I start thinking it's all about me, it's all about me finding the right job, leading the right Bible study, being part of the right church, making the right plans. (Can you see my perfectionistic personality shining thru??) I become forgetful and think that I'm making decisions that will govern the rest of my life and will dictate how much of an impact I will make on His kingdom. But how off base I am when I think that way!! Our purpose is not hiding in the corner. It is not something we are in charge of finding. It is something far greater than ourselves. Our purpose is not found in what we achieve, but in what we believe. It's not about where our decisions lead us, but where our heart is. It's not about who we are, but about Who we know. When we store up reserves and make back up plans, when we retreat with uncertainty, when we are riddled with regrets: those are the times when we are forgetting that it's all about God, the Great Provider and Comforter. A God who works out His sovereign will thru broken human beings. A God so full of mercy and grace, it's all that we can do to fall on our knees and praise Him with our lives.

What do we expect from God?

I've been thinking lately about what we as Christians expect from God. Think about it: what do you expect God to do in your life?

I'm really not sure if that's a good question, or a bad one, but the answers, especially those initial ones that come right to your mind, might reveal something to you about trust and faith.

Expect: "to consider likely or certain"; "to consider reasonable or due"

Are there times in our lives when we expect God to act? Isn't it also true that God can do the most amazing things when we aren't even expecting them? Just some food for thought. One thing I am certain of: God is gracious and merciful; He has promised us salvation through faith in Christ. We can certainly expect that from God.

Galatians 2:20

"The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Family

Have I mentioned lately how amazing family is? I spent the 4th of July with family and friends, and it was a great time. It's fun to see my little cousins growing up, to chat about Old Army days with the older cousins, and to hear the embellished stories of long ago from folks who have experienced this life a lot longer than I have. Sigh, good times. I've been blessed, and all I can say is Thanks. Stop for a second and think about how amazing your family is too. Better yet, call someone up and tell them in person!

It's All God

Read this quote the other day. Good reminder that everything we are, anything we accomplish, any blessings we obtain, are all because God is our helper.

"If I appear great in their eyes, the Lord is most graciously helping me to see how absolutely nothing I am without Him, and helping me to keep little in my own eyes. He does use me. But I am so concerned that HE uses me and that it is not of me the work is done. The axe cannot boast of the trees it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. The moment he throws it aside; it becomes only old iron. O that I may never lose sight of this."
-- Samuel Brengle

Movie Quote

"People call those imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff."

Hint, it's a math movie...

Math

Q: What do you get when you cross a calculator and a friend?
.
.
.
A: A friend you can count on!

Fear

I've been thinking a lot about courage, guts, fear, and faith lately. I was reading the book called "Spiritual Leadership" while getting a pedicure today (gasp, can you believe it, I really CAN be girly!!! My toes are a very cute pink right now, but I digress...), and there was a really good section that related to the questions and thoughts I've been having lately, so I thought I'd share:

"Leaders require courage of the highest order---always moral courage and often physical courage as well. Courage is that quality of mind which enables people to encounter danger or difficulty firmly, without fear or discouragement.

Paul admitted to knowing fear, but it never stopped him. "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling", he reported in 1 Cor 2:3, but the verb is CAME. He did not stay home out of fear for the journey. In 2 Cor 7:5, Paul confesses that he experienced "conflicts on the outside, fears within." He did not court danger, but never let it keep him from the Master's work.

Martin Luther was amoung the most fearless men who ever lived. When he set out on his journey to Worms to face the questions and the controversies his teachings had created, he said "You can expect from me everything save fear or recantation. I shall not flee, much less recant." His friends warned of the dangers; some begged him not to go. But Luther would not hear of it. "Not go to Worms!" he said. "I shall go to Worms though there were as many devils as tiles on the roofs."

When Luther appeared there before the court of Emperor Charles V, he was shown a stack of his writings and called upon to recant. Luther replied, "Unless I can be instructed and convinced with evidence from the Holy Scriptures or with open, clear, and distinct grounds of reasoning, then I cannot and will not recant, because it is neither safe nor wise to act against conscience." Then he likely added, "Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen." A few days before his death, Luther recalled that day. "I was afraid of nothing; God can make one so desperately bold."

Not everyone is courageous by nature. Some people are more naturally timid than Luther. But whether we are bold or reticent, God calls leaders to be of good courage and not to capitulate to fear. Such a call to courage would be rather pointless if nobody feared anything. Because fear is a real part of life, God gives us the Holy Spirit, who fills us with power. But we must let that power do its work, and not fear.

Consider these two contrasting statements: "With doors locked for fear of the Jews (John 20:19) and "When they saw the courage of Peter and John" (Acts 4:13). These statements describe the same disciples, and the same opposition. What happened between the first and the second? The difference is the Holy Spirit. "All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:4) And when the Holy Spirit is given control of the personality he gives not "a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power" (2 Tim 1:7)

Courageous leaders face unpleasant and even devastatin situation with equanimity, then act firmly to bring good from trouble, even if their action is unpopular. Leadership always faces natureal human inertia and opposition. But courage follows through with a task until it is done."

Trust

"Are you trusting God, or are you trusting God's provision?" --Gregg Matte

On the surface there might not seem to be much distinction between those two, but I think there is. Our trust needs to be rooted in God, not in the blessings He bestows upon us. In the storms of life, we trust Him, not because He will restore us to calm waters, but because He works all things to His good, He is sovereign, He is faithful, and He has a divine plan.

Rend

"Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."

Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.

Who knows? He may turn and have pity
and leave behind a blessing—
grain offerings and drink offerings
for the LORD your God.

-- Joel 2:12-14

rend:
-To tear or split apart or into pieces violently. See Synonyms at tear1.
-To tear (one's garments or hair) in anguish or rage.
-To tear away forcibly; wrest.
-To pull, split, or divide as if by tearing: “Chip was rent between the impulse to laugh wildly and a bitterness that threatened hot tears” (Louis Auchincloss).
-To pierce or disturb with sound: a scream rent the silence.
-To cause pain or distress to: tales that rend the heart.

Doors and Windows

How many times have heard Christians say "I'll just have to see what doors God opens and which He closes." Or from the Sound of Music "Whenever God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." I guess we use these sayings as a way to get our tiny little brains to comprehend the incomprehensible ways the Lord works in our lives, as a way to look for divine guidance in this crazy world we live in, where we have freewill and choice. I have no doubt that the Lord opens and closes doors. He definitely steps in and helps guide us in the right direction. The problem is that I only want ONE open door. I only want one choice, one path to follow where I can say "yes, this is the way, I will walk in it and follow after You." In a way, I think that is very selfish of me, it's a way of taking the risk out of things and it doesn't require me to step out in faith. If there's really only one choice, then the path is clear, and where does faith come in? But then I think about it, and perhaps there really only is one choice -- follow Christ and live for Him. If my heart is truly seeking the Lord, trusting Him, and looking for His guidance, isn't it natural to EXPECT God to work in my life? To step in and provide paths and options for me? To lead me in a direction where I can serve Him, grow closer to Him, and trust Him? Walking through this one big door will lead me to other passageways of life, but I'm still in the big door, I'm still under the protection and guidance of Christ. All those smaller passageways are just blessings that the Lord provides.

Naturally, this leads to the question: When can we recognize an open passageway? At what point can we say, the Lord has His hand in this and I must follow to see where He is leading me? Closed doors are easy (frustrating but easy) b/c no matter how hard we try, we won't make progress. Open ones are harder to discern. How long will they remain open? I heard a quote once that "the opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity." How true that is. We can't stay the same, we must move forward. Move forward in the Lord's direction, and trust. Trust in the Almighty's provision. Trust in Christ's blood. Trust that the Holy Spirit lives in us so that we can have faith. And perhaps more importantly, I need to stop overanalyzing God! He is faithful. I'm just on this adventure called life to learn and live for Him.

Encouragement

I thank the Lord for Rev. K. His Godly advice, open ears, and many prayers have been a blessing to me over the years, most recently in an email yesterday:

"My dear friend in the Lord, I pray for you that God will teach you His
way for your life.

"This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed
it and established it--the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will
answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'"
Jeremiah 33:2-3"

Jadon Lavik

So, I've mentioned before that I love music and good lyrics. I've been listening to a new CD by Jadon Lavik for about 2 weeks straight now, and I am absolutely in love with it. I could probably comment on how each song has meant something to me, but I'll spare you all that reading and just comment on one right now:
------------------------------------------
"Meant To Be"
Look around, what could i do?
This place is unfamiliar and new.
So I try to look beyond what’s right in front of me.
Hope to be found, how could this be true?
Comfort came and left in such a hurry.
So then what’s on the other side of this tragedy

You wake up to find that you’re right where you're supposed to be.
Trapped in uncertainty each day’s a mystery.
You wake up to find that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
The past is unveiled and you see you’re right where you’re meant to be.

Look behind, oh how we’ve grown.
All the places we’ve been.
The places I’ll never never go back again.
If I had only known that all was not lost.
It always comes around again round again round again.
Patiently waiting just waiting.

Til one day you find that you’re right where you're supposed to be.
Trapped in uncertainty each day’s a mystery.
You wake up to find that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
The past is unveiled and you see you’re right where you’re meant to be.

Now I see the reasons for all of those seasons wondering just how my life would connect.
My life would connect, but you knew all along all along.

You wake up to find that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Your heart’s running wild and free, each day’s a mystery.

You wake up to find that you’re right where you’re supposed to be..
Trapped in uncertainty each day’s a mystery.
You wake up to find that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
The past is unveiled and you see you’re right where you’re meant to be.
------------------------------------------

Although I'm in the same town that I've been in for the past (cough cough) 7 years, there have been a lot of changes in my life. I'm in a new apartment, I'm getting involved with new churches, I'm learning what it's like to not be a student, I'm growing up and doing fun things like paying bills, you know, all the things that come with graduating and embracing responsibility. And more than anything, I'm learning to be content with where I'm at right now. But I'll admit there was a time not too long ago when I didn't have a clue why I was still in College Station. All I could do was wish I had taken that lucrative job with IBM back in December. Never mind that I didn't have peace about it, never mind that it really wasn't anything close to what I wanted to do with my life, never mind the fact that life's not about money -- I honestly thought things would have been better for me if I were in Austin working at IBM and moving on. Somehow I convinced myself that I screwed up God's plan, that I was wasting my time in College Station, and I had absolutely no idea what God was going to do with me next.

Have you ever had times like that? Times when you thought you were following God's direction, only to start doubting a few moments later if you really made the right decision?

Well, as tough as it was for me, I'm realizing that those doubts and trials of the past few months have been incredibly good for me. God has uprooted all the things in my life that I've built up for myself, things that aren't necessarily bad, but that can only be appreciated as gifts from our Heavenly Father. I got to a point where it was just me and God, He was absolutely all I could rely on and lean on. And you know what, that is absolutely the best place to be, and the only place I want to be! I don't want to be in Austin slaving for a big company. Not because that's necessarily bad, but because that is clearly not where God wants me. And I don't want to be here in College Station just because it's fun and convenient. Nope, I want to walk with God wherever He leads me. For now, I am in College Station because He led me here, but He is working on me. I'm not quite sure what He is up to right now, but He is preparing my future, revealing His hand in things I could not have imagined. These past few months have been about Him working on my heart, and while there have been intense growing pains involved, I wouldn't trade it for anything. The Lord is faithful. At times, He empties us out, but only so that He can fill us back up with His mercies and His desires.

So, back to the song: I wake up to find that I'm right where I'm supposed to be! And the Lord knows just where He will take me from here. And knowing that is all I need to know right now.

Answers

How many times in life do you just want answers! Wasn't that the appeal of Perry Mason and Matlock? They were always able to take the clues, piece them together, and end up solving the case. We go along for the ride and watch the shows, but they are doing all the work and revealing little tidbits to see if we're paying attention.

I've been thinking lately about how God answers us. For the most part, there isn't any one particular way He sends us answers. He works in big things and little things. Sometimes we can say "wow, that's God at work". Other times it's not until we look back and see how His hand has guided us. But I think it's really important to keep track of the times God has provided. That way, you have something to reference when you're in the midst of the trials again. Good students take notes during class -- this is no different, it's just a spiritual topic and a personal journey. Things of the future aren't quite as uncertain when you are reminded of the certainty with which God has taken care of us in the past.

Now, I totally have a LOT of progress to make in the area of journaling. For the past 4 months or so, I've wanted to start 2 new journals: One journal of my fears and worries; another of God's provision. But up until a month ago, that was just an idea. I finally got around to stopping by the store to purchase 2 journals. Now, I have to actually start using a pen to write in them -- once I finally locate them in my explosion of boxes as a result of moving out of the house. Yes, I'm definitely the Lord's work in progress, some days I'm reluctant and resist, but He is persistent, full of relentless grace and endless mercies.

Hosea

So, this summer we're doing a Bible study on the minor prophets. I honestly haven't thought much about the minor prophets before, so it should be pretty good to learn about. A few weeks ago, I read through Hosea to start off the morning on a camping trip. Late that night, a friend played a song on his guitar based on Hosea 6:3 --

"Let us acknowledge the Lord;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."

It was kinda cool how Hosea kinda opened and closed that day. I missed the Bible study about Hosea the next week, but I started reading through some commentary about that particular verse, and it had some important things to say. It says things much better than I could, so I'm just gonna type straight from the book "The Bible Exposition Commentary"
--------------------------
"When you read these words, you get the impression that the nation is sincerely repenting and seeking the Lord, but when you read what God says, you see how shallow their "confession" really was. "They do no return to the Lord their God, nor seek Him" (7:10) "They return, but not to the Most High" (v 16). What went wrong with this "confession"?

To begin with, their concern was for healing and not for cleansing. They saw their nation in difficulty and wanted God to "make things right", but they did not come with broken hearts and surrendered wills. They wanted happiness, not holiness, a change of circumstances, but not a change in character...Furthermore, the people of Isreal thought that the remedy would work quickly: "After two days will He revive us; in the third day He will raise us up" (6:2) What blind optimism! They were like the false prophets in Jeremiah's day who offered the nation superficial remedies but never got to the heart of the problem...Expecting a "quick fix" is one of the marks of an unrepentant heart that doesn't want to pay the price for deep cleansing (Ps 51:6-7)

There is a third evidence of their shallowness: they saw forgiveness and restoration as a "mechanical" thing that was guaranteed and not as a relational matter that involved getting right with God. This is formula religion, like getting candy from a vending machine: put in the money, push the button, and out comes the candy. The Christian life is relationship with God, and the relationships aren't based on cut-and-dried formulas.

One more evidence of their shallowness is the fact that they depended on religious deeds. When we truly repent, our words will come from broken hearts, and they will cost us something. Hosea considered words to be like "spiritual sacrifices" brought to the Lord (14:2) and we must not give Him something cheap (2 Sam 24:24). Words can reveal or conceal, depending on honesty and humility of the sinner."
--------------

We're all sinners, and we all fail. What's important is how we deal with those times. Do we go to Christ with a sincere heart and repent, thanking Him for the amazing gift of salvation and forgiveness? Or do we go to Christ expecting Him to make everything better and put our lives back together in such a way that we are happy and comfortable with life. There's nothing wrong with being happy, the Lord wants to shower His blessings upon His children. The problem comes in when obtaining happiness is the focus, instead of being a gift from God when we walk in His will. Truth is, the Lord takes care of His people. He knows what we need better than we know ourselves, and His joy lasts regardless of the circumstances. He simply wants our hearts; He wants our priorities to be rooted in Him; He wants us to lay down our idols and follow the cross. And when we do that, we will find true life and purpose, and we will be forever amazed at the work of the Lord.

Weddings

Tiff's post got me thinking. She says:

"I have to stop living with my wedding dress in the closet ready to put on when the Bridegroom comes...I think He’d be more joyous if my stains on my wedding dress weren’t from my sin, but from wearing my wedding dress everyday for everyone to see and ask me why I was wearing a wedding dress."

I saw some bridal portraits the other day (unlike Tiff, I'm typically not around wedding stuff much). They were taken on-campus, and it reminded me of the times I've seen brides walking around campus. Definitely gets a person's attention, b/c they stick out like a sore thumb amidst young'uns clad in tshirts and jeans. They are usually beaming, as any bride should be. I can only imagine what they are feeling as they prepare for their "Big Day". Unlike most girls, I don't really think much about what I want my wedding to be like (Are you surprised?). And when it does cross my mind, I usually think up silly and fun things I can do to make the thing a blast, instead of a plain old, typical wedding. (Again, are you surprised?) But back to the point, I mean, God's totally in control of my life. For the time being, I'm called to be single. As much as I don't understand why, I know God's got plans in store for me that I couldn't dream of. When God wants something to change, He'll step in and work His magic as only God can. He's alreay been doing that for various aspects of my life lately. I could probably tell you of a number of stories starting with "Well, the crazist thing happened", and the only explanation is that God is at work. So, I could sit here and try to piece together how God is going to work in my life, and I've probably tried to do that in the past. But what I've come to realize in the past year or so is that often times my plans limit God. I can't keep God in a box, He is so much bigger than I can imagine. He is faithful and good. He sees the big picture and knows what I need, when I need it, and He is the only source of good blessings. If I spend my time sitting around thinking about and planning the next stage in life, wouldn't I be missing out on so much right now? And more importantly, don't I already have a Bridegroom who fills my every need, loves me more than I can comprehend, and will never let me down? Makes me want to go out and take bridal portraits for Jesus! Not really sure how that would work, but like Tiff says, shouldn't we wear our wedding dress everyday, show off our King of Kings, and talk about Him just as a beaming bride talks about her man?

As I close this post, the following song is playing on my CD player, and it's totally the cry of my heart these days. I know the Lord is up to something in my life. He hasn't quite revealed what that is just yet. Right now He's calling me to trust more deeply and abandon myself to Him. So, I offer these simple words to Christ, in eager anticipation of where He will lead me:

"Mold me, Mold me and make me,
Into what you want me to be.
So, it's Yours, it's Yours.
My life is Yours, it's Yours!
So, come on and have Your way in me."
--Jadon Lavik [this is an awesome CD by the way]

Quote

"Christ desires nothing more of us than that we speak of him" -- Martin Luther

My Savior

I'm absolutely hooked on this new song:
http://aaronshust.com/v4/watch.html
Lyrics:
http://aaronshust.com/v4/savior.html

"I am not skilled to understand,
what God has willed what God has planned.
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior."

Jesus Is Life, part 2

Do you ever have those times when a specific verse speaks to you and it keeps coming up, sometimes totally out of the blue, and it seems to relate to everything that's going on in your life lately? For the past year or so, Romans 12:1,2 did that for me, and I think it relates to Tiff's question:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -— this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -— his good, pleasing and perfect will."

You see, when I read the Romans passage, I say "Wow, yeah! That's what I need to do: be transformed, be a living sacrifice, live everyday for God and worship Him. That's what it's all about!" Then the logistics part of my personality cuts in and says "Wait a second, HOW in the world do I do that? Give me a 12 step program to go from a living sack-of-potatoes to a living sacrifice. I mean it's great to have that desire, but how do I put that desire into action?"

Lately another has come in that has also a big part of my life. It's Colossians 3:1-4:

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

This life is about setting our hearts and minds on things above. It's about realizing that the world has absolutely NOTHING to offer us, nothing that will satisfy us as much as following God's call for our lives and giving Him all the glory for any success we have. Our lives are HIDDEN WITH CHRIST! What does that mean? As one commentary puts it "Christ is at present a hidden Christ, or one whom we have not seen; but this is our comfort, that our life is hidden with him, and laid up safely with Him." What security that gives us! How important to remember that no matter where we are or what we are doing, Christ is with us, and the Holy Spirit is acting in us and through us, even in spite of us. When Gregg Matte speaks about this verse he says "Jesus is life! Jesus is not just a part of life, He's not just the giver of life, Jesus IS life." I watched a video where people were asked what they are passionate about. Most of them said family, careers, success. Typical American answers. If we are asked that question, we should respond with the typical Sunday school answer "Jesus" and mean it with all our heart. And we are called to take that answer out into the world, to those lost souls who don't have a clue what that means.

Now, at this point, I find myself saying "Man, that is so true. Christ is all I have to live for, but wow, how often I fail to make him part of my day. How many times I fall into the trap of pleasing the world and pleasing myself. How many times I pass up opportunities to be Christ's ambassador." Part of that is my self-critical nature, but another part of that is Christ's conviction working in my life, transforming me and working on my heart. For me, it's so important to remember God's grace. We will fail. There will be times we are the ones at the party misbehaving and leaving Christ behind. And He will convict us to recognize those times and live more fully for Him. And other times, we will be the ones speaking up at the party and leading by example. And those times only happen because Jesus is our life and the Holy Spirit is empowering us to take a stand for what we know is right. Since our lives are hidden with Christ, God looks past our failures, and sees us as who we are in Christ. He sees us as the person He is shaping us to be. What a wonderful "work in progress" we are!

Update

Now that I've used this account to post comments on other blogs, I suspect more people (like YOU!) will be reading this. So I figure I best do a better job of keeping things up-to-date. Lately, the following verse has totally kept coming up, so I'll start by sharing it:

Colossians 3:1-4
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

I love that "your life is now hidden with Christ in God" part. As Gregg Matte says "Jesus is Life". He is the center, He is the all, we are nothing without Him. It also reminds me of a quote on someone's facebook: "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man must seek Him to find it." The more I think about that, the more I really like it, as it lays the proper foundation for any worthwhile relationship.

Decisions

Listened to an old Breakaway talk about decisions today. Good stuff. Gregg quoted a Rich Mullins song:

Well they said boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
But the direction changed every time I went and turned my head
And they said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen

Grace

How often do you think about grace?

For it is by GRACE we have been saved, not by works, so that no one can boast.

By God's grace, I can look forward to heaven. By God's grace, I can live for Him today. By God's grace, I can forget the sins of yesterday and strain to become the woman He created me to be. By God's grace, I can rest and have peace. By God's grace, I can love and be loved.

Love

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." 1 John 3:1-3

I love that phrase "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us!" It's not a question, it's an exclamation. I picture God stretching out His hands and saying "This much!" And His hands are infinite, so that's a whole lot of love. This week was Valentine's Day. What a great reminder that God is love. We live empty, lonely lives without the love of Christ. So many people try to fill their lives with things that won't satisfy, things that will dissappoint, things that will fade away. Only love from the Father through Christ will quench our every desire. He lavishes His love upon us and He will guide our steps until we are with Him forever. Sadly, not everyone knows of this love. Not everyone knows the hope that gives us strength. The time is now to use the time we have now to share that love and tell of that Hope.

Plans!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

God knows the plans. I'm on a need to know basis, and I don't need to know. All I need to know is that God has it all under control. I cannot thwart His desires. I cannot concoct my own future. It is absolutely, utterly, 100% under His control. My hope is in Christ. My future is in Christ. This world is empty, pale and poor, compared to know Christ, my Lord. Lead me on and I will run after You.

Family

My family celebrated Christmas a little early this year. I had a wonderful time spending time with my wonderful family. The Lord has blessed me by surrounding me by amazing relatives. Life is full of ups and downs. Both of those were wrapped up in the funeral of my second cousin, Todd. Everyone will miss Todd dearly, but it was the most amazing funeral I have ever been to, filled with hope and peace through Christ.

On the way home, I started listening to Ginny Owens and got hooked on this song:

"All I Want To Do"
by Ginny Owens

CHORUS
All I wanna do is give this life to You
All I wanna do is give this life to You
All I wanna do is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, ‘til it’s all I wanna do

How does doubt slip in so silently?
Why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little, and living so selfishly
When all I wanna do is give this life to You
All I wanna do is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, ‘til it’s all I wanna do

What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now
Fill me with all You are
Be all I am somehow

chorus

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

Direction

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction." Winston Churchill

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss

He Maketh No Mistake

Just a reminder that our Lord is sovereign:

"He Maketh No Mistake" by A.M. Overton

My Father's way may twist and turn,
My heart may throb and ache,
But in my soul I'm glad to know,
He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But I'll trust my Lord to lead
For He doth know the way.

Tho' night be dark, and it may seem
That day will never break,
I'll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He maketh no mistake.

There's so much now I cannot see,
My eyesight's far too dim;
But come what may, I'll simply trust
And leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all He'll make,
Through all the way, tho' dark to me
He made not one mistake.

In this world, not of it

So, I've been thinking about this notion of how to attract people to a church and get them more involved and more comfortable talking about God, without the church becoming worldly. Mostly I just overanalyze things, because after all, God is at work through the Church and I'll never completely understand or get it right, but occasionally I learn something from my overanalyzing, even if it's just learning that I was way off in the first place. With that said:

I've noticed that movies and music are two things that just about anyone these days has an interest in. As Christians in this world, we are surrounded by it. How great would it be if we would look at our movies and music, and tie it into conversations about Biblical principles? Instead of talking about how great an actor such and such was and how the plot didn't quite turn out how we expected, what if we analyzed the movies and music we listened to from a Biblical perspective: what morals and Biblical principles were displayed (or contradicted) in the movie? What motivated the characters and how should a Christian behave under similar circumstances? How beneficial would it be if we didn't view such things as simply entertainment, but rather as a means that we could use to grow spiritually and reach out and spark conversations about God and Christ with others?

Along these lines, I led 2 Bible studies last year with this intent: One looked at Christian music and reflected upon the lyrics and Biblical themes and lessons we can glean from the songs. The other looked at movies and reflected upon the plot and characters and Biblical themes or parallels it included. I must say preparing these Bible studies took a lot of time, but I learned so much and there were a lot of resources on the Internet.

Ultimately, isn't the goal to evaluate everything in life from a Biblical viewpoint, to "deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously, and godly in the present age (Titus 2:12)? If you're interested in seeing the Bible studies, let me know.

Study Music

I've got a big programming assignment due that I've been procrastinating, of course. So, I've got hours of coding in front of me. I dug up my CDs for some good study music and ran across Third Day's Offerings II CD. I love these guys! Two lyrics made an impact tonight:

IMPACT ONE:
"Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus."

These lyrics are a cry to Jesus to guide my life and take the wheel, even when I am stubborn and try to grasp hold of my own future and my own desires.

IMPACT TWO: (I've always liked this song, but I particularly like Mac Powell's words in the middle of the live version)

I see all the people
Wasting all their time
Building up their riches
For a life that's fine.
But nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You Lord
Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing You Lord

Mac Powell: Those words that were spoken and written by the Apostle Paul apply just as much to our lives today as they did 2000 years ago when he wrote them. That in our lives no matter where we could go, or who we could meet, or what we could see, or what we could earn or be given to us or accomplish, there is nothing in our lives that will ever even come close to the greatness of knowing Jesus Christ our Lord.

And I find myself just living for today
Cuz I don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring
So no matter if I rise or fall
I'll never be alone

Thanksgiving

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It started off with a Thanksgiving Eve service at Holy Cross. I really like Pastor Hafer. He is so genuine and to the point. He'll challenge you when you need challenging and remind you of God's grace when you need reminding. His sermon was on the top 4 things to be thankful for: God's grace; God's plan for your life; God's eternal salvation; the changes God makes in our life. The challenge was to identify something in your life that is jailing you in, keeping you from being joyful and letting God rule in your life. I certainly needed a reminder about how God has a plan EVEN WHEN WE MESS UP! When we make "bad decisions" or follow our own will, God works it to His glory. There is nothing I can do to thwart the sovereignty of God, and that fact gives me joy, peace, and confidence as a Christian. Church service followed up by discussions about faith with a friend, it doesn't get any better than that.

Thanksgiving was at my folks house, involving my immediate family (3 nieces, whoop!) and my aunt, cousins, and their kids (4 tremendously cute boys). It was a handful at times, but man oh man, times with family are so important and such a blessing. These are people who have been with me growing up, through the good times and bad, and I can count on them to be there anytime I need them. Taking a break from my hectic schedule and spending it with them was very refreshing. I hope they know how important they are to me. If it is the Lord's will, I pray that someday in the future I will be blessed with a Christian family of my own, and I pray that He prepare me for that.

So, I will go to sleep tonight giving thanks for the fact that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and I entrust my future to His care.

Through Gates of Splendor

I just finished reading "Through Gates of Splendor" by Elisabeth Elliot. I had been reading "The Mystery of God's Will" by Chuck Swindoll (a great book), in which Chuck mentioned this book by Elliot as one that impacted him greatly. Derek Webb once said that he was a huge fan of Bob Dylan. He learned all about his music, lyrics, style, etc. Then, he began looking into the music of those who inspired Dylan, and in that way, he really was able to learn about Dylan and his perspective on music. So, in this way, I wanted to learn Chuck's perspective in writing the Mystery of God's Will. It just so happened that I saw the book in Scripture Haven, so I made the purchase, started reading it this weekend, and put off a lot of schoolwork to finish it.

This was the first book I've ever read about missionaries. Throughout the book I was impressed by the strength, courage, and faith of those in the story. They wanted so badly to spread the Gospel to the savage Indian tribes, that they were willing to overcome the risks. It's all about priorities and recognizing the sheer importance of the Good News of Salvation through Jesus Christ. These guys were willing to take their faith into Ecuador, risking their lives, and I struggle taking my faith to the workplace and the classroom? Wow, I've been living in comfortable America for way too long. I would LOVE to go on the Spring Break mission trip again this year, but I don't know if that is God's will. We'll see what happens. I'll close with a quote from the book:

"God is God. If He is God, He is worthy of my worship and my service. I will find rest nowhere but in His will, and that will is infinitely immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to...God is the God of human history, and He is at work continuously, mysteriously, accomplishing His eternal purposes in us, through us, for us and in spite of us."

Direction

At this point in my life, I have about 4 different options of paths I could take in my career, future, etc. I'm the most indecisive person I know, so I have no idea how I am going to pick one, and more importantly, how to ensure I am satisfied with my choice. The thing is that I *wish* I could follow all 4 directions. I know each would teach me something different and I know each would be an amazing opportunity in its own way. This is where prayer, trust, faith, and absolute abandonment to God's will comes in. I desperately want His direction in making my decisions. Although I have moments of doubt, I know that the path of the future is in His hands. So, I won't choose based on my own desires, I won't choose based on my own safety and comfort, I won't choose based on my limited view of the future. I will pray that He direct me, and I will let Him take the wheel.

Seriously

Sometimes I think I'm way too serious. Ok, those of you who know me as a jokester full of corny jokes are probably laughing right now. True, I enjoy a good laugh, and I do that to keep my sanity. But when I'm not joking around, I'm typically over-analyzing and worrying too much. Will I ever learn to give everything up to the Lord and rest in the peace of knowing that He always provides? As always, some lyrics that somewhat relates to this issue:

Rachael Lampa "You Never Know"
I try to figure in the time
When miracles should happen to appear
And when it comes down to it
There's nothing more that I can do down here
I wanna place it in your hands
Even though I wanna understand...
If you wanna spend your life
In your design, you're only wasting time.

Great Commission

I started listening to Derek Webb again. I love his music! Currently, The House Show is spinning in my CD-ROM drive (which broke last week but I was able to get replaced under warranty, whoop!) I like this song by Aaron Tate:

----------------------
go in peace to love and to serve
let your ears ring long with what you’ve heard
and may the bread on your tongue
leave a trail of crumbs
to lead the hungry back to the place that you are from

and take to the world this love, hope and faith
take to the world this rare, relentless grace
and like the three in one
know you must become what you want to save
‘cause that’s still the way
He takes to the world

go, and go far
take light deep in the dark
believe what’s true
He uses all, even you
-----------------------

As I decide what's in store for my future, this song reminds me of what's really important.

Needs

I love music. Sometimes the lyrics of an artist give me insight to my own life and situations. It reminds me that we are all human and we all face the same problems, regardless of our culture or our history. Every human has needs. Everyone seeks to fill those needs. The difference is in how we fill those needs and what we fill those needs with. Christians realize that ONLY God can fill our needs. NOTHING in this world can satisfy us apart from God. Not money, not a husband, not a wife, not a career, not a house, not a good joke, nothing. Sure, God uses those things to bless us and enable us to carry out His will. But if we search to build up those things for ourself, apart from God, we search in vain. We must ask the Lord to help us make Him our number one priority. When we do that, everything else will fall into place in God's perfect timing.

One of my favorite praise songs, although simple, reminds me of this:
"Oh how I need You Lord
You are my only hope
You’re my only prayer.
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
To come and give me life."

Are we waiting for the Lord, or are we building up a life for ourselves?

Uncertainty

It hit me today how I have absolutely no idea what I'll be doing in 2 months. Wow. My life is changing right before my eyes. Amazingly, I haven't been as stressed about it as I would have expected. It's in the Lord's hand, He will provide and take care of me, all I have to do is walk and listen, right? Of course, somedays are easier than others, but I'm doing my best to leave everything in the Lord's hands.

I talked to my advisor yesterday about job offers. She flat out told me to take the job with the highest salary because that will make the department look good. I had to hold in a laugh. Nevermind my happiness, my goals, my ideas of what is important in life, it's all about money! Well, I don't buy that attitude. I would work for nothing if I were doing something that I loved, something beneficial and with a cause. And, I would get so frustrated and fed-up if I were stuck in a pointless job, even if I were paid millions. I'm surprised to find out that I may be in the minority on this attitude. How can people use money as a motivation? I just don't understand it. Everyone has a right to live their lives however they want to. I'm putting my trust in the Lord. Somewhere out there is God's plan for me. These 24 years that have led me to this point right now have been to prepare me for where He is leading me next. That next step is getting closer and closer, and I pray that He makes it clear to me as I face all of these decisions.

Questions

Life is full of questions. I definitely have more questions than I ever have answers. But this song by Paul Coleman reminds me of the one certainty on which I can ALWAYS stand:

"Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valleys and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here
Oh that brought me here

I’ve questioned my reasons
The life I’m living
I’ve questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I’ve questioned all the things
that I’ve ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

Chorus:
But the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like You say You do
Yea the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like You say You do
Hold me Hold me
So Hold me

Well I’ve questioned my significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I’m doing really matter at all?
Well I’ve questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?"

Sororities

You definitely seem like the sorority girl type, so I can't say I'm suprised. I guess I'm a little hurt, but that's no one's fault but my own.

I Wait

I love music. I love the way words can speak to my heart and my life. Tonight I've been listening to Todd Agnew. His song "Wait for Your Rain" says a lot about what I've been thinking about lately:

"I throw myself on Your mercy
I throw myself at Your feet
I throw my filth on the grace of One who's beauty is beyond me
And I wait
I wait for Your rain to fall
The waves of Your grace to wash over me
I wait for Your rain to fall
Strange how forgiveness comes so easily
When I call Your name
And wait for Your rain"

Opportunity

"The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity." ~ Leonard Ravenhill

Peace

The Lord is mighty and powerful. He knows just what we need when we need it. I have been learning a lot of lessons recently, and one of the big ones is about peace. I know there will be rough roads ahead, but I thank my God for taking care of me and providing for me. I'll close with a quote about peace that I ran across:

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." -- Robert Muller

Idols

"Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage, make some space for the One who deserves it."
-- Ross King, "Worship is more than a Song" lyrics

Lyrics

Alone again tonight without someone to love.
The stars are shining bright so one more wish goes up.
Oh, I wish I may and I wish with all my might.
For the love I'm dreaming of and missing in my life.

You'd think that I could find a true love of my own.
It happens all the time to people that I know.
Their wishes all come true so I've got to believe.
There's still someone out there who is meant for only me.

I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star.
It seems like someone else keeps gettin what I'm wishing for.
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are?
I guess I must be wishing, on someone else's star.

I sit here in the dark and stare up at the sky,
But I can't give my heart one good reason why.
Everywhere I look it's lovers that I see.
It seems like everyone's in love with everyone but me.

Red Light, Green Light

There used to be a trivia question "What's the only light in College Station that never turns red?" It's no longer a trivia question, it's now a history question. Yes, much to my surprise, the folks that be in the DoT decided to change the way the stop light at Harvey and Texas functions. Sure, I'll admit that it works much better this way, and they should have changed it long ago. But why do they feel they can start messing with things that have always been? Even the transportation folks are trying to convince me to leave this town. Next thing you know, PTTS will change their name. Oh wait! Or they'll get rid of the infamous Fish Lot. Doh!

Well, they can and will change things, but they can't take away my memories. I've enjoyed the time I've had here, I hope to enjoy the time I have left, and I look forward to the time when I must leave this place and find out what God has in store for me next.

Oh the Repetition

Why do I continue having conversations that just end in frustration? Don't I know it's better to just cut my losses and quit getting roped in? What's that old phrase: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all...

C. S. Lewis

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid all entanglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in the casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable".

C.S Lewis, The Four Loves

Perspective

So, I've been cleaning my room. Not the way I usually clean my room (which consists of throwing everything randomly into drawers and under the bed so you can no longer see the mess). No, I'm *really* cleaning this time. Going through all those drawers with random junk in it. Naturally, I've run across some pretty interesting stuff. The thing that impacted me the most was scribbled on a Post-It:

I try
I fail
I trust
He succeeds.
--Chuck Swindoll

Time Flies

Boy, does it ever. In the blink of eye, another year has gone by. My time now is spent thinking about how things used to be, stories of Old Army days. Back when this college thing was still new to me. I guess that's what happens when people get to a fork in the road. They think about what got them to the point they're at right now. It's funny because the past always looks like a straight road, but the future is always a fork. But the past has had just as many forks and choices as what face us now. The Lord has lead each of us to the point we are at right now. The Lord is sovereign over all things past, present, and future. Until this is acknowledged and accepted, we will continue in vain as a hamster in a wheel, thinking we can get ourselves somewhere, but actually getting nowhere.

Waiting eagerly

"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." -- Romans 8:23

As one of my friends always says "I can't wait to get to heaven." It helps us keep the right perspective on things that happen in this sinful world we call home. But, it's only a temporary home. Our permanent home will be good, perfect, and uplifting, and most importantly, it will be surrounded by God. Focus on the permanent, not the temporary.

Tact

Tact: acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending

"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." Isaac Newton

I think we could all use a lesson in being tactful.

Perfectionism

I had a book when I was little called "Nobody's Perfect". I'm not sure where it ended up, maybe in the attic. Sometimes, I just need a good childhood reminder like that book.

Third Day

I was listening to KLTY on the Internet tonight. It's a Christian radio station in Dallas. I usually listen to KSBJ from Houston, but they are doing their "Share-a-thon" this week. It's a great thing that they do, but I'm a college student, so the money I have to donate is sparce. So, I defaulted to Dallas for the week. Now, back to the point. They just played "It's Alright" by Third Day. It reminded me of how much I like Third Day and why. First off, there's Mac Powell's voice. And second, there's their catchy tunes. And finally, there's the lyrics. This one in particular speaks to me in many ways as I look at my future and hope for the day I can see my Savior:

It's alright
It's okay
I won't worry about tomorrow
For it brings me one more day
Closer than I was to you

Arguments

At what point is arguing helpful, and at what point is it harmful? See, I'm a non-conflict person to the bone. Sure, I enjoy friendly bickering or a playful argument when it's "all in good fun." But when it comes to serious disagreements and continuous arguments, I get frustrated and often have to just end the conversation or walk out of the room. I'd like to think that I try my best to see other people's point of view. After all, everyone has a reason for the way they act. No one goes around doing things they can't justify. At least, most normal, sane people are not like that. Instead, they have reasons and perspectives that influence their actions and opinions. But when middle ground can't be reached in an argument, at what point should we throw in the towel? Maybe the following quote sheds some light on that question:

"The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress." -- Joseph Joubert

Fear

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9

If you're happy and you know it...

So, I've been in debates lately about whether God "wants us to be happy". Personally, I think it's a ridiculous question because it looks at a resulting emotion, instead of a motive or source. I think God cares more about why we do things and what our motives are than he does about how we feel. Yes, God cares about how we feel, he does not want us to be miserable, but I don't know that he necessarily *wants* us to be happy. I guess my point is summed up in the quote I found:

"God doesn't want us to be happy...He wants us to be obedient. He knows, and we can learn, that obedience brings happiness...but it's secondary.”

Summer

It's the summer! This summer will be pretty interesting, compared to years past. I'm looking forward to hanging out with my new roommates, getting to see my cute nieces, and just enjoying a relaxing summer. Granted, there are always things to keep me busy, like work, studying, fixing up the house, etc. But it's a slower pace of life right now, and it's a really nice feeling. My workaholic tendencies are put on hold for a moment in time and I will get to enjoy the break. The fall will probably hit me with the force of a hurricane, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, I'm resting in God's peace and looking for his guidance concerning what the future holds. It's hard to imagine that in just one short year, my life will be completely different from how it is right now. I will miss College Station and I will miss my friends, but I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to the adventure that God has in store for me.

Quote

I heard this quote on a sitcom of all places. I just felt like I should put it on the blog. I don't have any comments or thoughts on it right now, but maybe sometime in the future:

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'." -- John Greenleaf Whittier

Frustrations

I've been thinking a lot about frustrations lately. What is the root of frustrations---other people or one's own personality? Why do we have to get frustrated? Is it good or bad? Frustrations are so frustrating.

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do." -- Pope John XXIII

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -- Wayne Dyer